The first chart below shows how energy is used in an average Australian household. The second chart shows the greenhouse gas emissions which result from this energy use.

#first #energy #australian #household #second #greenhouse #gas #emissions

The two charts compare the

energy

consumption and

greenhouse

gas

emission of Australian households in various categories over an unspecified period of time.

Overall

, heating and water heating were the main sources of

energy

consumption,

while

water heating and other appliances contributed the most to

greenhouse

gas

emission

Fix the agreement mistake

emissions

show examples

. Heating, despite being the largest

energy

consumer, ranked third in terms of

greenhouse

gas

emission

Fix the agreement mistake

emissions

show examples

. Heating consumed 42% of the total

energy

, the highest among all categories, but emitted only 15% of the total

greenhouse

gas

, less than half of its

energy

share.

On the other hand

, water heating used 30% of the total

energy

, the second highest, and

also

emitted 32% of the total

greenhouse

gas

, the highest among all categories. Refrigeration emitted 14% of the total

greenhouse

gas

, twice as much as its

energy

consumption of 7%. Other appliances consumed 15% of the total

energy

, but emitted 28% of the total

greenhouse

gas

, almost double their

energy

share. Lighting and cooling both consumed 4% and 2% of the total

energy

respectively, but lighting emitted 8% of the total

greenhouse

gas

, twice as much as cooling's 4%.

Submitted by mohammadmgh1381 on Sun Jul 09 2023

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words energy, greenhouse, gas with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.

▼

Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.

▼

Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.

▼

Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.

▼

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4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

186 words

6.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Energy consumption
Greenhouse gas emissions
Sustainable practices
Energy efficiency
Renewable energy
Fossil fuels
Carbon footprint
Eco-friendly appliances
Insulation
Solar panels
Recycling
Climate change
Kilowatt-hour (kWh)
Emissions-intensive
Energy audit
Smart meters

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The first chart below shows how energy is used in an average Australian household. The second chart shows the greenhouse gas emissions which result from this energy use.

Learning English at school is often seen as more important than learning local languages. If these are not taught, many are at risk of dying out. In your opinion, is it important for everyone to learn English? Should we try to ensure the survival of local languages and, if so, how?

Today single-use products are still very common. What are the problems associated with this? What are some possible solutions?

In many professional sports, there is an increase in the number of athletes using banned substances to improve their performance. What are the causes of the phenomenon and what are some of the possible solutions.

some people feel that entertainers are paid too much money do you agree or disadgree which other types of job should be highly paid