The first chart below shows how energy is used in an average Australian household. The second chart shows the greenhouse gas emissions which result from this energy use.

#first #energy #australian #household #second #greenhouse #gas #emissions

The two charts compare the

energy

consumption and

greenhouse

gas

emission of Australian households in various categories over an unspecified period of time.

Overall

, heating and water heating were the main sources of

energy

consumption,

while

water heating and other appliances contributed the most to

greenhouse

gas

emission

Fix the agreement mistake

emissions

show examples

. Heating, despite being the largest

energy

consumer, ranked third in terms of

greenhouse

gas

emission

Fix the agreement mistake

emissions

show examples

. Heating consumed 42% of the total

energy

, the highest among all categories, but emitted only 15% of the total

greenhouse

gas

, less than half of its

energy

share.

On the other hand

, water heating used 30% of the total

energy

, the second highest, and

also

emitted 32% of the total

greenhouse

gas

, the highest among all categories. Refrigeration emitted 14% of the total

greenhouse

gas

, twice as much as its

energy

consumption of 7%. Other appliances consumed 15% of the total

energy

, but emitted 28% of the total

greenhouse

gas

, almost double their

energy

share. Lighting and cooling both consumed 4% and 2% of the total

energy

respectively, but lighting emitted 8% of the total

greenhouse

gas

, twice as much as cooling's 4%.

Submitted by mohammadmgh1381 on Sun Jul 09 2023

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

▼

Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words energy, greenhouse, gas with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.

▼

Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.

▼

Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.

▼

Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.

▼

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

186 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Energy consumption
Greenhouse gas emissions
Sustainable practices
Energy efficiency
Renewable energy
Fossil fuels
Carbon footprint
Eco-friendly appliances
Insulation
Solar panels
Recycling
Climate change
Kilowatt-hour (kWh)
Emissions-intensive
Energy audit
Smart meters

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The first chart below shows how energy is used in an average Australian household. The second chart shows the greenhouse gas emissions which result from this energy use.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people believe that sports in University are essential for teamwork and discipline, while other believe that student should focus on academics. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

An increasing number of larger shopping areas, malls and department stores are leading to the decline of smaller corner shops. what are the advantages and disadvantages of shopping in larger shopping centers rather than smaller, more traditional shops?

Freshwater has always been a limited resource in some parts of the world. Today, however, growing worldwide demand has made this a global problem. What are the causes of this increased demand, and what measures could governments and individuals take to respond to this problem?

People naturally resist making changes in their lives. What kinds of problems can this cause? What solutions can you suggest?

Modern technology has become an important part of peoples lives around the world . Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?