The two maps below show road access to a city hospital in 2007 and in 2010.

The two maps below show road access to a city hospital in 2007 and in 2010.
The
two
charts illustrate how road access to a
city
hospital changed over three years.
Overall
,
it is clear that
there was a considerable change including,
two
roundabout
Change to a plural noun
roundabouts
show examples
,
two
parking for staff and other public and ,and a new
bus
station was constructed.
Furthermore
, the stop
bus
was removed. Looking at the
two
maps in more detail, in the northeast of
city
Correct article usage
the city
show examples
hospital
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
large park for
public
Add an article
the public
show examples
was
builded
Correct your spelling
built
show examples
. In the north of
city
Correct article usage
the city
show examples
hospital the Ring
road
Capitalize word
Road
show examples
unchanged
Add a missing verb
is unchanged
show examples
. In the
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
of
Correct article usage
the maps
show examples
maps
Add a comma
,maps
show examples
the
six stop
Add a hyphen
six-stop
show examples
bus
was replaced with
two
roundabout
Change to a plural noun
roundabouts
show examples
and
also
these
roundabout
Fix the agreement mistake
roundabouts
show examples
contect
Correct your spelling
connect
the
city
hospital with
city
Correct article usage
the city
show examples
road. Regarding the other changes, in between
two
roundabout
Change to a plural noun
roundabouts
show examples
in the east the
the
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
car park
was become
Change to the active voice
became
has become
show examples
only for employees. In the west of the
two
maps between the
two
roundabout
Change to a plural noun
roundabouts
show examples
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
a new
bus
station was established and
also
the
bus
station
open
Wrong verb form
opened
show examples
in
two
direction
Change to a plural noun
directions
show examples
to the roundabouts.
Submitted by faiz3177 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
Vocabulary: Replace the words two, city, bus with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: The word "maps" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "changed" was used 3 times.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • accessibility
  • dual carriageway
  • roundabout
  • traffic flow
  • multi-story car park
  • green spaces
  • pedestrian provisions
  • footpaths
  • traffic signals
  • construction phase
  • ambulances
  • carriageway expansion
  • traffic congestion
  • pedestrian crossings
  • urban planning
  • infrastructure development
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