IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

Some people believe that nowadays we have too many choices To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#people #choices
The world has been changing rapidly and significantly in various aspects, including education, technology, employment, and more.
This
 leads to numerous
options
 appearing, which need to be determined properly by the
people
.
Hence
, I side with the statement that
people
 currently face many
choices
 compared to previous eras, impacted by the emergence of new fields and
trends
. Considering the various fields have been developed widely, creating many
options
 for
people
's lives that can be impactful for their future because their
choices
 will determine the future that they will hold.
For example
, in the employment field, it used to have little
options
such
 as farmer, office work, and social work. Meanwhile, there are a lot of unique occupations right now
such
 as digital work that can focus on social media or making creative content.
Furthermore
, there are several
trends
 that most
people
 follow right now. They often contemplate the
choices
 that they have made with other
people
's
choices
 because they tend to think that it would be better to adapt to the new
trends
 since they would be recognizable easily. To exemplify, the various
trends
 result in many
options
 in fashion, iconic places, and food.
Therefore
,
people
 simply follow what other
people
 choose to create the same experience as them and want to obtain the same satisfaction. To summarize, I believe
people
 will face numerous
options
 or even more in the future
due to
 the numerous new fields that have established and popular
trends
, which can definitely influence other
people
's decisions and perspectives, shifting their
choices
 completely.
Submitted by hanalyaa29 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Logical Structure
Ensure there is a clear and distinctive link between your main points. It helps if you can use transition words or phrases to guide the reader through your arguments smoothly.
Relevant Specific Examples
Try to expand on the examples provided. Adding more specific details can strengthen your arguments and make your essay more compelling.
Clear Comprehensive Ideas
Make sure each paragraph clearly outlines the connection between your example and the main argument, helping to enhance the overall clarity of your ideas.
Introduction Conclusion Present
The essay had a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively framing the overall argument.
Complete Response
The response was complete and addressed all aspects of the question, which is crucial in achieving a high task response score.
Supported Main Points
The essay contained relevant examples that supported the main arguments, providing good grounding for the points raised.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • overwhelmed
  • decision fatigue
  • paralysis by analysis
  • consumerism
  • globalization
  • personal autonomy
  • market saturation
  • option overload
  • decision-making process
  • psychological well-being
  • buyer's remorse
  • customization
  • trade-offs
  • minimalism
  • information superhighway
What to do next:
Look at other essays: