Some young people are leaving the countrside to live in cities and towns, leaving only old people in the countryside. What problems are caused by this issue? What can be done to solve this situation?

#people #countrside #cities #towns #countryside #situation

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There is no doubt that these days

cities

have many opportunities. So, some

people

think that when they

move

from

villages

to towns would be better.

While

others like to live in the

countryside

. In

this

essay I will discuss both sides and the problems that will result from

this

phenomenon,

will

Correct word choice

and will

show examples

draw my personal conclusion. On the one hand,

people

at the beginning of their lives would like to live

Change preposition

in an

show examples

environment rich with opportunities.

For example

, fresh graduate students mostly they will mostly choose to

move

cities

rather than the

countryside

. So, that's why some think that towns are the best choice to

livein

Correct your spelling

live in

On the other hand

, the elderly best to live in a place far from noise and crowds,so they prefer to live in

villages

. To illustrate, researchers say that 70 per cent of the

countryside

population are old

people

Hence

the belief that

villages

are not the perfect place for young

people

Moreover

, there will be problems if all the young

people

move

to towns.

Firstly

, there will be no economic life in

villages

Secondly

cities

' immature population will jump which will result in an unbalanced proportion.

For instance

, New York has the highest teenage population in the world.

This

proves that when young

people

move

cities

it will produce inequivalent proportions. In conclusion, after a careful analysis of both points of view, I believe that life requires balance.

lastly

, Governments should raise the opportunities in the

countryside

lemet

Correct your spelling

limit

let

the teenagers migrate to

cities

Submitted by lynalhelal on Thu Jul 04 2024

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task achievement

Your essay addresses the prompt well, discussing both the causes and potential solutions. To achieve higher marks, ensure that your arguments are fully developed and substantiated with specific examples and explanations.

coherence cohesion

The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the transition between ideas can be smoother. Use linking words and phrases to improve the flow of your writing.

coherence cohesion

Proofread your essay to correct typos and grammatical errors. Attention to such details can enhance clarity and coherence.

task achievement

To improve clarity and make your points more convincing, expand on your reasons and examples. Explain why cities attract youth and how exactly the countryside suffers from their departure.

coherence cohesion

You have a clear introduction and conclusion that frame your essay well.

task achievement

You have identified the main problem and suggested a reasonable solution.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

251 words

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Some young people are leaving the countrside to live in cities and towns, leaving only old people in the countryside. What problems are caused by this issue? What can be done to solve this situation?

Fully explain your ideas

With the improvements in today’s health care, society has to care for more and more elderly people. Do you feel that society will be able to cope with the increase in numbers of elderly people today and how can it be managed?

In many countries, more and more people choose to buy imported food rather than food produced locally. Why people buy imported food? What could be done to encourage people to buy local food?

more and more students are choosing to study at colleges and universities in foreign country. do the benefits of studying abroad outweigh the drawbacks?

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. what are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?