IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

To what extent do you believe that technology have positively and negatively impacted to our society? Discuss and provide examples to support your viewpoint.

#technology #society #support
Nowadays
technology
have
Change the verb form
has
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positive
Add an article
a positive
show examples
 and negative influence on our society. I firmly believe that it has good impacts rather than bad ones. The first point I would like to mention is
benefits
Correct article usage
the benefits
show examples
 of gadgets. The main point about
pros
Correct article usage
the pros
show examples
 of it is we have an opportunity to chat with someone who
live
Replace the word
lives
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 in the foreign
countries
Fix the agreement mistake
country
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.
For example
, most of the young generation want to make foreign friends. What I mean to say is they should not
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
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go
to
Change preposition
apply
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overseas in order to to make friends. They can easily interact with others, because of new
technology
 and
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
.
In addition
 to that
technology
 make our lives easier, more efficient and more productive.
This
 is because it can provide entertainment, break the distance barrier and
also
 it helps us
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
 our studies, to download different books if
they
Correct pronoun usage
we
show examples
 have a particular liking for reading.
Furthermore
, some people are
introvert
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introverted
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in
Change preposition
apply
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these days. They do not need somebody to play with, because they can play online games on their own. Another point I would like to highlight is about
drawbacks
Correct article usage
the drawbacks
show examples
 of that.First and foremost,
technology
 has the potential to reduce employment opportunities and increase
the
Correct article usage
apply
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economic disparity.
For instance
, now computers do almost everything in our professional life. Maybe after 10 or 15 years managers if companies do not need any employees at all.
This
 is because new computers can do everything which people can do.
Such
 as
,
Remove the comma
apply
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manipulates
Wrong verb form
manipulating
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 information or data.
Also
Add a comma
,Also
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 it has the ability to store, retrieve and process data. New
technology
 has the ability to compare the benefits of products or calculate everything easily.
To sum up
, there are many effective sides
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
 using
technology
.
Submitted by omondavlat91 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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