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Band 7.5

In many cities, planners tend to arrange shops, schools, offices and homes in specific areas and separate them from each other. Do you think the advantages of this policy outweigh the disadvantages?

#cities #planners #shops #schools #offices #homes #areas #policy
In recent times, the United Nations passed a bill stating that all countries should reform their infrastructure by segregating establishments
such
 as schools, shops, offices, and residential areas into similar locations.
This
 essay will demonstrate how grouping these zones will provide a better standard of living, but will
also
 show that
this
 development can lead to envy between the users. Whilst acknowledging the drawbacks, I strongly believe that its advantages take precedence over the disadvantages. On the positive side, placing a nation's establishments into zones can help promote
proper
Correct article usage
the proper
show examples
 use of resources. To
further
 illustrate, the power voltage used in houses and commercial areas is totally different. Imagine having these two types of buildings in the same area; it can result in fire incidents
due to
 high electricity transmission.
For example
, in developing countries like Nigeria, where factories are built inside estates, numerous power outage incidents have occurred, costing people their lives.
Hence
, it is safer to separate these establishments through zoning.
Conversely
, the negative aspect of these zoned districts is that they can enable unhealthy competition between neighbours, whether in business or even the aesthetics of homes.
For instance
, a study conducted in China, as reported by ITV News, stated that because Guangzhou Secondary School had more pupils than other neighbouring institutions, two proprietresses conspired to burn down the organisation. In conclusion,
although
 the downside of constructing properties in regions based on their purposes can breed hatred, it is
also
 beneficial for saving money and preventing groundwork accidents.
Therefore
, the positive influence of having allocated districts definitely outweighs the cons.
Submitted by adebimpeanimawun on

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task response
While your introduction is strong and clearly states your position, consider elaborating more on the advantages in the body paragraphs to balance the discussion.
coherence cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, make sure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and that ideas flow logically. Transitions between paragraphs can be slightly improved to enhance readability.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear and concise introduction and conclusion, effectively framing the overall response.
task response
The ideas presented are relevant and address the prompt directly, providing a comprehensive response to the task.
relevant specific examples
Specific examples, such as the ITN News study in China and power issues in Nigeria, effectively strengthen your points.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Segregation
  • Urban areas
  • Residential
  • Commercial
  • Industrial
  • Systematic development
  • Amenity provision
  • Urban management
  • Pollution
  • Quality of life
  • Transportation costs
  • Environmental impact
  • Social segregation
  • Amenities
  • Services
  • Income neighborhoods
  • Vibrant
  • Accessible
  • Travel times
  • Social interaction
  • Mixed-use developments
  • Sustainable urban planning
  • Walking
  • Cycling
  • Public transport
  • Urban sprawl
  • Green spaces
  • Agricultural land
  • Biodiversity
  • Business hubs
  • Investments
  • Employment opportunities
  • Economic growth
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