some people say that the best way to improve public health is by incraesing sports facilities. others, however, say that this would have a little effect on puclic health and that other measures are required.

In these
Change preposition
These
show examples
days,
general
Correct article usage
the general
show examples
public believe that their lifestyle can be improved in the aspect of
health
by increasing the
numbers
Fix the agreement mistake
number
show examples
of sports centres around them
However
, some people disagree
this
Change preposition
with this
show examples
statement by arguing that there is no relation between
Correct article usage
the numbers
show examples
numbers
Fix the agreement mistake
number
show examples
of
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
facilities
and public
health
and
public
Correct article usage
the public
show examples
need other requirements.
This
essay will discuss
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
both sides of the
arguments
Fix the agreement mistake
argument
show examples
and try to draw some conclusions. Some people believe that
getting
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by getting
show examples
access to
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
centres
such
as gyms, swimming pools and tennis courts
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
etc, they can achieve
healthy
Add an article
a healthy
show examples
body.
Furthermore
,
the
Change preposition
with the
show examples
growing
numbers
of physical
facilities
,
they
Correct your spelling
the
show examples
point that they can enjoy
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
machines even
they
Correct word choice
if they
show examples
have little time on a busy day
due to
facilities
near their home.
Additionally
, people can discover easily
themselves
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
what kind of
sport
they prefer when they can see various activities in their
surrounding
Fix the agreement mistake
surroundings
show examples
.
On the other hand
, it can
be argue
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be argued
show examples
that some
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
facilities
cannot attract the public unless they eat healthy foods, keep personal hygiene and their environment.
Next,
to improve citizens’
health
, they suggest that government need to set some rules for food safety by checking cooking ingredients and food production process and for cleanliness by providing knowledge of unhygienic ways of living.
Also
, suggesting
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
information on how to keep citizens’ daily lives healthy even if they have to stay at home. In conclusion, I believe that government should hold public forums and
event
Fix the agreement mistake
events
show examples
to give
health
knowledge and encourage them to keep themselves clean and their environment to get a clean and healthy neighbourhood,
instead
of increasing the
numbers
Fix the agreement mistake
number
show examples
of
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
facilities
.
Submitted by Chit Tone Lay on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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