one of the consequences of the medical care is that people are living longer and expentensy is increasing Do you think this advantage of development overwieghts the disadvantage?

#consequences #care #people #expentensy #advantage #development #overwieghts

Progress in technological advancement has risen dramatically and proven to be a positive development ,especially in the aspect of healthcare.

This

innovation in medical cure is making citizens grow

long

Rephrase

longer

show examples

and their expectancy

enhancing

Verb problem

apply

show examples

However

this

is a good factor but still has drawbacks and I will discuss it and give my opinion. On the one hand, healthcare hospitalization has advanced and the treatment of older

people

has broadened the knowledge of medical professionals and researchers to solve problems associated with old age.

People

are always on the edge to learn new things about gerontological care and

this

is a positive step in the medical profession.

Furthermore

, new

treatments plan

Fix the agreement mistake

treatment plans

show examples

evolves

Correct subject-verb agreement

evolve

show examples

and help the saving of lives.

For instance

, treatment for heart plants, cancer, diabetes etc. Doctors, specialists and nurses are always looking forward to being trained to undertake these surgeries to help save the public that may need organs to live and

this

is one enormous benefit for the medical community since they're able to save the lives of critically ill patients.

On the other hand

, the aspect of long age brings about some drawbacks.

Firstly

, it increases the rate of dependency ratio between family and government.

For example

, there is old age equipment like walking aids, massage machines and other tools these

people

need and the government needs to provide them every year to support them. Government always have to pay extra money on their pension salaries and

this

leads to an economic crisis since we will have a lot of older

people

living.

Secondly

, we all know older folks need extra care and when the number increases it leads to neglect on their part. In conclusion, there are always two sides to a coin and

this

topic is no exception. Healthcare advancements bring about new treatment plans for medical professionals and

also

broaden the scope of medical research. In my opinion, the benefits of

people

living longer are indeed far greater than the disadvantages discussed.

Submitted by dede on Mon Jul 10 2023

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Task Response

Ensure that the essay fully addresses all aspects of the question in a comprehensive manner, providing a clear opinion.

Coherence and Cohesion

Maintain consistency and coherence in the logical structure of the essay, with a well-organized introduction and conclusion.

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

327 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

life expectancy
public health
medical technology
vaccinations
antibiotics
senior health care
geriatric services
overpopulation
natural resources
environmental strain
dependency ratio
working-age population
retirees
contribute to society
personal goals
medical industry
economic growth
age-related diseases
health care costs
health care system

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one of the consequences of the medical care is that people are living longer and expentensy is increasing Do you think this advantage of development overwieghts the disadvantage?

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people think the best way to solve trafic congestion in cities is to provide free public transport 24 hour a day, 7 days a week. Is it good or bad, to what extent do you agree or disagree.

In many societies, there is a growing emphasis on individualism, with people prioritizing their personal goals and desires over collective interests. Is this a positive or negative development?

Cramming and immersion are becomingly increasingly recognised methods of gaining knowledge in an area, other people disagree and say that only through lifelong learning can a subject be learnt. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Use specific reasons and examples to support your position.

More and more people want to buy famous brands of clothes, cars and other items. What are the reasons? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

In many countries, traditional dress and costumes are considered effective ways of maintaining links with the past. How effective can traditional costumes be, in this sense? What other ways exist to help citizens connect with a country’s past?