IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

The pictures illustrate the changes in Shipsmouth between 1995 and 2010. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant

#pictures #changes #shipsmouth #information #features #comparisons
The given pictures represent what the city of Shipsmouth looked like in the years 1995 and 2010, respectively. 
Overall
, the city has seen a tremendous increase in infrastructure, with many new building sites having replaced the older ones and a total effacement of the greenery. The access to the city centre has now been converted to a pedestrians-only area, thereby restricting its accessibility to automobiles. In the year 1995, Shipsmouth appeared to be rather industrialised with fewer residents and more green areas.
This
 is clearly evident by the presence of a single factory, a religious institution, a train station and a smaller housing capacity when compared to the year 2010. The scarcity of leisure and entertainment centres
further
 highlights the city’s purpose to be home to fewer individuals.  
On the contrary
, by the year 2010, Shipsmouth seems to have taken a turn toward globalisation. To exemplify
this
, the city’s estate potential has grown dramatically with apartment blocks and skyscrapers dominating the city’s borders contralaterally. An airport and the addition of another train station across the older expanded the tourism industry. In terms of well-being, residents may now spend their time outdoors as a shopping centre and a football stadium have surfaced near where the factory was once stationed
Submitted by mirnahamada on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Provide a more detailed comparison between the two time periods, focusing on specific changes and developments.
coherence cohesion
The essay is well-structured and coherent, but make sure to use transition words and phrases to connect ideas and paragraphs more effectively.
lexical resource
Good use of vocabulary, but try to incorporate a wider range of synonyms and descriptive terms to enhance the lexical variety.
grammatical range
The grammar and sentence structure are generally accurate, but pay attention to verb tense consistency and sentence complexity to showcase a higher level of language proficiency.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • urban development
  • infrastructure
  • gentrification
  • commercial expansion
  • ecological impact
  • residential growth
  • transportation networks
  • public amenities
  • waterfront redevelopment
What to do next:
Look at other essays: