Some people think that it is more beneficial to take part in team sports, like football. While other people think that taking part in individual sports is better, like swimming. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some
individuals
believe that it is more advantageous to participate in cooperative
sports
namely, football.
Whereas
other
individuals
feel
tht
Correct your spelling
that
engaging in
individuals
Change the noun form
individual
show examples
sports
is best
such
as
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
swimming,
tennis
Correct word choice
and tennis
show examples
. In my opinion,
involved
Add a missing verb
being involved
show examples
in
team
sports
is better than individual
sports
because it is less stressful
as well as
boosts invaluable skills among
memberships
Replace the word
members
show examples
of
sports
team
Fix the agreement mistake
teams
show examples
. On the one hand, some prefer
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
individuals
Change the noun form
individual
show examples
sports
namely, swimming,
tennis
Correct word choice
and tennis
show examples
. They believe these
sports
boosts
Correct subject-verb agreement
boost
show examples
the confidence of
people
.
This
is because
people
who engage in
individuals
Change the noun form
individual
show examples
sports
only depend on
themselve
Correct your spelling
themselves
without
team
Add an article
a team
the team
show examples
.
For example
, tennis players can improve
the
Change the word
their
show examples
skill
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
how to win
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
match in
intelligent
Change the article
an intelligent
show examples
way, because they play without
assist
Replace the word
assistance
show examples
from
team
Add an article
the team
show examples
.
On the other hand
, I would like to agree with those who believe that collaborative
sports
is better.
To begin
with, collaborative
sports
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
considered less
exhausted
Replace the word
exhausting
show examples
when compared to
individuals
Change the noun form
individual
show examples
sports
.
This
is
due to
the fact that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
the members of the
team
share the part of responsibility.
For instance
,
football
Change preposition
in football
show examples
players, there
some
Add a missing verb
are some
show examples
members in attack and other defence, and others in the middle.
Moreover
, if the
team
face any problems related to the match they have a chance to discuss these problems with the rest of
members
Correct article usage
the members
show examples
of
Correct article usage
the teams
show examples
teams
Fix the agreement mistake
team
show examples
, which means they are more likely to reach to better solution.
Consequently
,
team
sports
can contribute to
ehance
Correct your spelling
enhancing
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
skills namely,
work
Wrong verb form
working
show examples
as a part of
team
Add an article
a team
the team
show examples
,
Correct word choice
and share
show examples
share
Wrong verb form
sharing
show examples
responsibilities.
To sum up
, I would
like
Add the particle
like to
show examples
argue that cooperative
sports
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
better than
individuals
sports
,
becaue
Correct your spelling
because
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
minimize
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
stress,
teach
Correct word choice
and teach
show examples
people
uesful
Correct your spelling
useful
skills
such
as
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
share
Wrong verb form
sharing
show examples
responsibilities,
work
Correct word choice
and work
show examples
as a part of
team
Add an article
a team
the team
show examples
.
Submitted by faiz3177 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Ensure that the introduction and conclusion effectively frame the essay and give a clear preview of the main points to be discussed.
task achievement
Support your points with specific examples related to both individual and team sports to illustrate your arguments effectively.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • camaraderie
  • teamwork
  • leadership skills
  • social interactions
  • self-reliance
  • personal discipline
  • cooperative learning
  • peer motivation
  • flexible schedule
  • psychological benefits
  • collective achievements
  • sense of accomplishment
  • personal accountability
  • wellness goals
  • social interaction
  • personal mastery
  • solitary tendencies
What to do next:
Look at other essays: