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Band 5

The most important aim of science should be to improve people’s lives. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this statement.

#aim #science #people’s #lives
In more and more modern society these days, many aspects are developed strongly including
science
 which role important in our
lives
. Many
people
 believe that the main purpose of
science
 is to enhance
people
’s
lives
. In my opinion, I completely agree with
this
 point.
This
 essay will discuss
this
 statement and give my opinion.
To begin
 with, there are several
advantage
Change to a plural noun
advantages
show examples
 of
science
 to our
lives
through
Change preposition
in
show examples
 almost field.
Firstly
, thanks to
science
, many devices keep being modernized to meet human needs.
People
 can save time and cost in conducting various activities.
For example
,
smart phone
Correct your spelling
smartphone
show examples
 help
people
 can relax by watching
Add an article
the film
a film
show examples
film
Fix the agreement mistake
films
show examples
,
listening
Correct word choice
and listening
show examples
music
Change preposition
to music
show examples
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 is very convenient and comfortable.
Beside
Replace the word
Besides
show examples
 that
people
 can work or do many tasks on
smartphone
Fix the agreement mistake
smartphones
show examples
 which was not impossible in the past.
Secondly
,
science
contribute
Change the verb form
contributes
show examples
 a huge benefit to
medical
Replace the word
medicine
show examples
, many dangerous diseases are treated with
advanced
Add an article
the advanced
an advanced
show examples
 method and modern
equipments
Change the wording
equipment
types of equipment
pieces of equipment
show examples
. The health of
people
 can be improved and taken care
better
Change preposition
of better
show examples
.
Lastly
,
people
 can use
best
Correct article usage
the best
show examples
 services and live in
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 better environment
such
 as living in a smart house,
Correct word choice
and use
show examples
use
Wrong verb form
using
show examples
 smart
equipments
Change the wording
equipment
types of equipment
pieces of equipment
show examples
 and every
things
Change to a singular noun
thing
show examples
 are easier to resolve.
On the other hand
, the development of
science
 can have some drawbacks and it
affect
Change the verb form
affects
show examples
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people
’s
lives
. For
intance
Correct your spelling
instance
, many chemicals are released into the environment impacting the air and
have
Wrong verb form
having
show examples
 a number of
consequence
Fix the agreement mistake
consequences
show examples
such
 as
Correct article usage
the greehouse
show examples
greehouse
Correct your spelling
greenhouse
 effect, climate change and so on.
In addition
, in some medical
researches
Fix the agreement mistake
research
show examples
, many
animal
Change to a plural noun
animals
show examples
 are used for testing. To
conlude
Correct your spelling
conclude
,
athough
Correct your spelling
although
though
 it has
few
Correct article usage
a few
show examples
 drawbacks but they are not considerable,
science
 has a huge
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
benefit to
people
, and the fact is that
people
 are living better every day because of the development of
science
.
Thus
, I strongly agree that the main purpose of
science
 is to help improve a better quality of life.
Submitted by buithuongkt on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • crucial role
  • enhancing
  • quality of human life
  • advancements
  • medicine
  • healthcare
  • scientific research
  • solving societal problems
  • improving living standards
  • global issues
  • climate change
  • food scarcity
  • technological advancements
  • limitations
  • negative consequences
  • ethical considerations
  • sustainability
  • environmental preservation
What to do next:
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