IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Demand for gas and oil is increasing and so finding new sources in remote and untouched areas is a necessity. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

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The rapid growth of industrialization and the transportation sector in the
last
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 few decades has led to increasing demand for nonrenewable sources of
energy
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, especially gas and oil.
This
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 phenomenon encouraged people to locate new sources of
energy
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 in regions which are far away and never have been exploited beforehand.
To begin
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 with, for hundreds of years, humans have been using fossil fuels as the most popular
energy
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. Over time, the demand for
this
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 type of
energy
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 continues to increase, so some people opine that we need to look for it in some parts of the world,
for example
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 in the polar regions. By exploiting
this
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 area, the dependency on
energy
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 sources in a region
which are
Wrong verb form
that has been
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 explored for many years will be reduced,
such
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 as Venezuela, Saudi Arabia, and the USA.
Besides
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, economic activities around the globe are able to continue and it will lead to sustainable economic growth and provide job opportunities as well.
However
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, new exploration in polar regions jeopardizes the ecosystem because it will
deliver
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have
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 an adverse impact on animals inhabiting it and
treat
Verb problem
apply
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their existence,
for instance
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, penguins and polar bears.
Moreover
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, it will lead to an increase in fossil fuel consumption
and
Correct word choice
apply
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create more pollution in the atmosphere and accelerate the global warming process. Based on data released by the government, exhaust fumes from fossil fuel has contributed to 80% of pollutant on our planet. In conclusion, I contend that the new exploration of fossil fuel in remote areas gives more detrimental consequences to our planet than benefits offered and we need to look for a source of
energy
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 that
does
Verb problem
is
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 not harmful to our planet and more sustainable in the long run.

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task response
Ensure that all parts of the question are addressed in the essay. Provide a balanced discussion of both advantages and disadvantages.
coherence cohesion
Improve the connection between ideas and paragraphs. Use cohesive devices to link ideas more effectively.

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • technological advancements
  • fostering innovations
  • renewable energy sources
  • energy security
  • geopolitical tensions
  • economic benefits
  • job creation
  • infrastructure development
  • environmental risks
  • habitat destruction
  • irreversible damage
  • perpetuates dependence
  • transitioning
  • indigenous and local communities
  • ethical and social challenges
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