According to observations, some animal species have become extinct- or endangered in recent decades. What are reasons behind this tendency? What effects it may have on ecosystems in general?

In recent decades, many animal
species
have become extinct or endangered
due to
the grave violation of human activities and eventually reducing in number on our planet and ecosystem. In
this
essay, I would like to highlight the causes and effects of
this
issue.
To begin
with, global warming is a major driver that causes animal extinction.
As a result
of industrialization, the number of green lands has decreased and gas emissions have increased over the years resulting the changes in atmospheric temperatures
such
as unseasonably warm winters and cold summers.
For instance
, the increasing level of hat can cause and contribute to reducing the
species
of polar bears in the North Pole.
Additionally
, deforestation can be considered as one of the major reasons for the extinction. The total proportion of green areas and zones in the world has collapsed dramatically and become uninhabitable and
as a result
, the
species
in those areas were vulnerable. The results of industrialization can lead to the degradation and fragmentation of natural wildlife populations in different regions of the world.
Also
, these reasons that I mentioned before, have detrimental and adverse effects on both the environment and ecosystem. Unless the population regulates greenhouse gas emissions and plants more trees the animal
species
are not going to be protected from reduction and without overlooking the most essential, harmful factors, the majority of undesirable consequences occur of human activities. Contamination of air, water, and soil with pollutants
such
as chemicals, heavy metals, and plastics threatens to
overall
health, and survival conditions of wildlife. Taking all into consideration, unregulated human activities, urbanization, industrialization, and deforestation have contributed to the loss of habitat and biodiversity
,
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and ecological and economic instability on the planet.
Submitted by feruzayla2006 on

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task achievement
Your essay addresses the topic and provides relevant information, but the depth of exploration and development of ideas could be enhanced. Consider adding more detailed examples and explanations to fully explore the causes and effects mentioned, providing a more thorough response to the question.
coherence cohesion
Your essay shows a logical flow of information, yet it could benefit from clearer transitions between ideas and paragraphs. Use a variety of linking words to enhance the coherence of your essay, making it easier for the reader to follow your argument.
coherence cohesion
While your essay has a clear structure with an introduction and a conclusion, the main points could be better supported and developed. Structuring your paragraphs with a clear topic sentence, followed by explanation, example, and a concluding sentence could enhance the cohesion of your essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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