the chart below show the distribytion of the world water and the use of water in three countries

the chart below show the distribytion of the world water and the use of water in three countries
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The pie charts describe the distribution of
water
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in the world,
while
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the bar chart gives information regarding the
use
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of
water
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in Egypt, Saudi Arabia, and Canada.
Overall
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, the world's
water
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is mostly salt
water
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and not fresh.
This
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freshwaterwater
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freshwater water
is mostly found in ice and glaciers. Egypt and Saudi Arabia
use
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mostly
water
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for agricultural
use
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while
Linking Words
Canada for industrial
use
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.
Salt
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Saltwater
show examples
water
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constitutes 97% of
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water
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the water
show examples
on our planet but only 3% is fresh
water
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. Fresh
water
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is mostly found in ice and glaciers 79%.
Then
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ground
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groundwater
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water
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and surface
water
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constitute the remaining sources by 20% and 1%
respictively
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respectively
. Egypt and Saudi Arabia show similar patterns of
use
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of
water
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with just under 80% for agriculture,
and
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apply
show examples
just above 10% for domestic
use
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, and 10% or less for industry purposes.
However
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, Canada shows an opposite trend with almost 80% of the
water
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used for industry,
then
Linking Words
around 10% for both farming and local
use
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.
Submitted by rawanabdulali on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
Vocabulary: Replace the words water, use with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "show" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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