Students perform better in school when they are rewarded rather than punished. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Nowadays, there
widespread
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is widespread
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discussion for the effective method to increase the
performance
Use synonyms
of
students
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in
school
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. It is said that pupils perform best in
school
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when they are rewarded
instead
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of punished. I totally agree with
this
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statement.
To begin
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with, there
several
Add a missing verb
are several
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reasons why I believe that
incentivize
Wrong verb form
incentivising
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students
Use synonyms
in
school
Use synonyms
is
a
Change the article
an
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effective way to encourage
students
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to perform well better than
punish
Wrong verb form
punishing
show examples
them.
Firstly
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, punishments
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
school
Use synonyms
can have
a negative impacts
Correct the article-noun agreement
a negative impact
negative impacts
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in
Change preposition
on
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Use synonyms
students
Change noun form
students'
student's
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performance
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
is because punishments on the
school
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put the
students
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under pressure, which makes them
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
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more vulnerable to
develop
Wrong verb form
developing
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mental health issues namely, depression, anxiety, introvert.
Consequently
Linking Words
, punishments can
makes
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make
show examples
students
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struggle to
foucs
Correct your spelling
focus
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
their studies, and
effect
Correct your spelling
affect
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their
performance
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negatively.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, children
under
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are under
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crucial
Correct article usage
a crucial
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stage, because their
brain
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brains
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in
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are in
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the stage of development ,which means
punished
Wrong verb form
punishing
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students
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can
harmful
Add a missing verb
be harmful
show examples
for
Change preposition
to
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their brain as well
performance
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in
school
Use synonyms
.
Secondly
Linking Words
, I believe if the
school
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provide
incentives
Use synonyms
for their pupils can
leads
Change the verb form
lead
show examples
a
postivie
Correct your spelling
positive
impacts
Fix the agreement mistake
impact
show examples
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
their
performance
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
is
due to
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the fact that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
incentives
Use synonyms
makes
Change the verb form
make
show examples
the
school
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more competitive , which
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this
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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can motivate
students
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to work hard in order to gain
Linking Words
this
Change the determiner
this incentive
these incentives
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incentives
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.
For example
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, some teachers
gives
Change the verb form
give
show examples
their
students
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who accomplish
highest
Correct article usage
the highest
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scores gifts
such
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as
,
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apply
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money, toys,
free
Add an article
a free
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ticket to
trip
Correct article usage
a trip
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abroad.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
students
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see the
school
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as
Correct article usage
a postive
show examples
postive
Correct your spelling
positive
environment, and
then
Linking Words
they perform well in their studies.
To sum up
Linking Words
, I totally believe that
provide
Wrong verb form
providing
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rewarded
Replace the word
rewards
show examples
for
students
Use synonyms
in the
school
Use synonyms
is the better way to maximize the
perfromance
Correct your spelling
performance
of
students
Use synonyms
than
punshiments
Correct your spelling
punishments
punishment
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
because
provide
Wrong verb form
providing
show examples
incentives
Use synonyms
for pupils makes the
school
Use synonyms
Correct article usage
an encorageing
show examples
encorageing
Correct your spelling
encouraging
environment.
Submitted by faiz3177 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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