IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Modern technology is changing our world. This has advantages such as bringing people closer together through communication. It also has disadvantages such as destroying the differences between cultures. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Our world has changed to a better future thanks to modern
technology
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. I am certain that
this
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 brings more benefit than the drawbacks, and I'd like to address that in
this
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 essay.
Firstly
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, gadgets like smartphones have made communication easy,
such
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 as calling our loved ones even if they're far away.
In addition
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, video call applications like Zoom have changed the way society works. People can work remotely even from home, and
that is
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 perfect for working parents who want to be with their child and still have an income. Speaking of children, visualisation from modern
technology
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 helps kids to learn with the best education they can get. Not only children, older people benefit from that too. Research for university students is a lot easier with the internet. Particularly for searching journals and other resources that are stored
in
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apply
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there. In the same way that I can search for anything I want to know on the internet,
and
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without struggle.
Lastly
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, advanced
technology
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 in medicine is one of the greatest
advantage
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advantages
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 of modern
technology
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. It is a crucial part of human life. A great illustration for
this
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 is the case of COVID-19. It is a deadly virus that has taken a lot of lives. Without
this
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technology
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, we wouldn't have the vaccine by now. Of course, there are some disadvantages to modern
technology
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.
For instance
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, it is considered that modern
technology
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 is erasing the difference between cultures. I personally thought that
this
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 problem could be solved and is not a big matter. There are a lot of organisations or communities that already preserve the culture.
Besides
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, the world will continue to change as time goes by. In conclusion, I believe that modern
technology
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 is giving society more advantages than
the
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apply
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drawbacks
like
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, like
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 in communication, education,
as well as
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 health care.

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task management
Make your view clear in the start and end. Say you agree or mostly agree and keep it through the essay with a strong final line.
coherence
Link ideas with better links. Use words like also, but, however, for example to join ideas.
grammar
Be precise. Use short, correct sentences. Fix forms like 'Not only children, older people benefit from that too' to 'Not only children, but also older people benefit from it.'
stance
Clear aim to show more good from tech than bad.
content
Good examples on phone use, work, learning and medical tech.
structure
Intro and conclusion exist.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • revolutionize communication
  • global relationships
  • cultural exchange
  • cultural homogenization
  • diminish traditions
  • uniform global culture
  • cultural elements
  • dilute traditions
  • dominant languages
  • marginalizing
  • communication tools
  • cultural preservation
  • intercultural connectivity
  • cultural identity
  • cultural diversity
  • positive and negative outcomes
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