IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. Other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #attention
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A group of
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the individual
an individual
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individual
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individuals
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 state that
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advertisement
Fix the agreement mistake
advertisements
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 are a significant victorious
way
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 which remains to influence
choices
Correct article usage
the choices
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 of customers
while
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 others believe that
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advertisement
Fix the agreement mistake
advertisements
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 are an ordinary
way
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 and it would not be able to more consciousness by viewers. Anyway,
the
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apply
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tv
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 commercials become a controversial topic because of
its
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their
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 affected.
However
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, I stand with the former approach.
This
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 essay will explore both views and state my own opinion about these arguments. On the one hand, basically,
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advertisement
Fix the agreement mistake
advertisements
show examples
 do describe
about
Remove the preposition
apply
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products
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 and they give more details
such
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 as advantages disadvantages,
quantity
Add an article
the quantity
a quantity
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 of
products
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,and utilizations.
Furthermore
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, at watching
tv
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, the growing trend is that adverts broadcast more than
the
Correct article usage
apply
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other
tv
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 programmes.
A
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As a
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 result of that,
audience
Correct article usage
the audience
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are happened
Change to the active voice
happen
have happened
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 to watch them and
i
Change the capitalization
I
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 tend to pay more attention unconsciously to these items.
Besides
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,
due to
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advertisements
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make
Change the form of the verb
made
show examples
 with more creativity, people make a requirement to try these
products
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. Some
advertisements
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 are equivalent to
the
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apply
show examples
short films.
Nonetheless
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, the aforementioned reasons affect
to
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apply
show examples
the
customers
Change to a genitive case
customer's
customers'
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 selections.
For instance
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, toddlers watch
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this
Change the determiner
this tv commercial
these tv commercials
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tv
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 commercials
everyday
Replace the word
every day
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 and parents
occured
Correct your spelling
occurred
 to spend money on that items.
On the other hand
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, currently,
advertisements
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 are a vital method,
most
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but most
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of
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apply
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viewers don't desire to see these because they consider that these are
waste
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a waste
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 the valuable time of them.
Consequently
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, they have inclined to skim them.
Conversely
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,
products
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 promotions are
more
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a more
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 effective method nowadays
more
Correct quantifier usage
apply
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than adverts.
According to
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 the multinational companies, they consider that it would be able to do the biggest coverage about sales of
products
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.
On the other hand
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, it is an efficient
way
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 to reach
to
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apply
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the customer's wallets. Not only that but
also
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 the upcoming trend is that lots of people don't
wate infront
Correct your spelling
watch in front
 of the television. They used to watch news and programmes through youtube by using smartphones or tablets.
By
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In
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this
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way
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, they miss
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advertisement
Fix the agreement mistake
advertisements
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.
For example
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, at present a considerable number of
person
Fix the agreement mistake
people
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 gain updates about the world from
facebook
Capitalize word
Facebook
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 or other social media platforms. In conclusion, there are
number
Change the article
a number
the number
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 of reasons
impact
Correct pronoun usage
that impact
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to
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apply
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the first opinion. In my opinion,
advertisements
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, which are creative, can take
a
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apply
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substantial attention from consumers. I recommend that we shouldn't always depend on advertising and we should focus our
necessity
Correct article usage
the necessity
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 and real value of the
products
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.
Submitted by yohanigallage99 on

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • persuade
  • promote
  • attract
  • influence
  • impact
  • consumerism
  • commercialism
  • market
  • product
  • brand
  • endorsement
  • manipulative
  • saturated
  • overwhelmed
  • repetitive
  • distracting
  • irrelevant
  • exaggerated
  • misleading
  • desensitized
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