Some people think governments should spend money on faster means of public transport. However, others think money should be spent on other priorities (e.g. cost, environment). Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Many people think that the government should invest more resources in upgrading the public transportation system,
whereas
, I agree with those who hold the opinion that much more emphasis should be placed on other dominants Linking Words
such
as cost, environment, etc.
On the one hand, it is justified why some individuals advocate the view that public money should be spent on enhancing the traffic infrastructure. Linking Words
Firstly
, Linking Words
this
will minimize the problem of traffic congestion in the cities. Linking Words
Instead
of taking private vehicles including cars or motorbikes, using modern commuting transport helps to reduce the frequent traffic jams. Linking Words
Secondly
, infrastructure improvement contributes to a reduction in air pollution levels. The fewer private vehicles, the less toxic fumes are discharged into the atmosphere, which could help people avoid the risk of suffering from respiratory diseases.
Linking Words
On the other hand
, I believe that governments should put more resources into other priorities Linking Words
such
as the medical industry and education which have a more direct impact on the population. There is a need for national authorities to improve the healthcare system by allocating resources to hospitals and clinics, especially for poor people in some remote areas. Linking Words
This
could reduce the financial burden on dwellers who would resort to costly private healthcare services. Linking Words
Similarly
, an investment in education Linking Words
also
ensures the future for the next generations. More specifically, the state budget should be raised for not only better educational facilities but Linking Words
also
for acquiring more well-trained professionals for teaching. Linking Words
Therefore
, young children who are well-equipped with the necessary knowledge and skills for personal growth in an advanced learning environment will be more likely to become up-and-coming Linking Words
talent
.
In conclusion, Fix the agreement mistake
talents
although
the investment in public transportation presents certain advantages, I still believe that it is more beneficial to spend money on other fields like education and medicine.Linking Words
Submitted by phamnhung275 on
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coherence cohesion
Your essay provides a clear structure, with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the logical progression of ideas can be enhanced. This could be achieved by further developing the link between your points and the central argument. Ensure each paragraph leads naturally to the next.
task achievement
While you have presented both views and your opinion, the examples given to support your ideas are somewhat general. To improve, aim to include more relevant and specific examples that directly support your views. Illustrating your ideas with precise details will improve the overall task response score.