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Band 5

Some people say that advertising encourages us to buy things that we really do not need. Others say that advertising tell us about new products that may improve our lives. Which view point do you agree with

#people #products #lives #point
Presently, there is a group of
people
 who opines that
advertisements
 affect indirectly
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
our mind for buying unnecessary things;
however
, others who are
the
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on the
show examples
 opposite side of
debate
Add an article
the debate
show examples
 believe that
due to
 the
advertisements
 we are getting awareness about new products. I strongly agree with
first
Change the article
the first
show examples
 idea and
this
 essay will discuss it
broadenly
Correct your spelling
broadly
. To introduce, in
current
Correct article usage
the current
show examples
 day scenario, we face with
advertisments
Correct your spelling
advertisements
 wherever we go. In other
word
Fix the agreement mistake
words
show examples
,
advertisements
 are almost
in
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apply
show examples
everywhere - on the way, in the underground, at shops, on TV,
as well as
 on our
phone
Fix the agreement mistake
phones
show examples
. As if it
organised
Add a missing verb
is organised
show examples
 especially
for
Change preposition
to
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 affect
people
's
mind
Fix the agreement mistake
minds
show examples
.
For instance
, if you live in
the
Correct article usage
an
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 urban city, it is impossible
being
Change the verb form
to be
show examples
 healthy because of fast-food
advertisements
. Imagine that you are on
diet
Correct article usage
a diet
show examples
 and it is put a huge picture of
burger
Correct article usage
a burger
show examples
 which forces you to taste it immediately.
Furthermore
, social media is the greatest supporter
that
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of that
show examples
 trap, which always demonstrates things, especially with vibrant colours, in
turn
Add a comma
,turn
show examples
 you would buy them willingly by no means you
need
Correct pronoun usage
themneed
show examples
.
On the other hand
, by making
announcement
Fix the agreement mistake
announcements
show examples
, committees manage the
presenting
Replace the word
presentation
show examples
 of their products. It is more affordable for those who are unaware
about
Change preposition
of
show examples
 technology and they follow innovations
with
Change preposition
in
show examples
this
 way. A delegation of Apple
had
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
noted
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 his interview that most of their customers are
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
young,
therefore
, adults are getting information about
Add an article
the update
an update
show examples
update
Fix the agreement mistake
updates
show examples
 from
advertisements
.
Moreover
, it
inform
Change the verb form
informs
show examples
people
 about sales which
aid
Correct subject-verb agreement
aids
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 to save money.
To conclude
, I opine,
advertisements
 play an essential role in our society,
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 provide
people
 with information which some needs.
However
, it
also
 leads to
seduce
Wrong verb form
seducing
show examples
 humankind to purchase things which
no
Correct your spelling
do
show examples
 need.
Submitted by shabnam.aghayeva on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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