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Writing Samples
Band 7

Older people after retirement choose spending money for themselves (on holiday) rather than saving money for their children. Is it a positive or negative development

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Traditionally, the elderly in some countries would save money as possible as they could for their offspring, but
this
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 situation has changed today, with increasing numbers of old people choosing to spend their retirement pay enjoying the rest of life. I think
this
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 is a positive development. The first benefit is that the well-being of senior citizens could be improved, with more investments spent on leisure and recreation. Those who remain healthy can enjoy a happy old age as they no longer feel obligated to shoulder the burden which is supposed to be borne by young adults. Retirees can do a range of activities that they could not do when they were at work,
such
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 as travelling or joining some clubs. Not leaving deposits for the next generation
also
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 means the change of parents’ educational concept, which helps to cultivate independence for the young. Some of them live on their parents’ pension and take it for granted to rely on their parents in many aspects. If old parents stopped giving them financial support, they would be obliged to earn a living on their own.
On the other hand
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, there is a concern that the young generation may suffer from high pressure without parents’ financial assistance, particularly in those cities where house prices and the cost of living stay at a high level. If the older generation can lend a hand to their children financially, the young would no longer stress out,
thus
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 increasing the level of living standard and happiness.
However
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, the young need to deal with these challenges independently sooner or later and the mindset of relying on parents should be changed, in case they become the boiling frogs in warm water.
Overall
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, it is a positive phenomenon for senior citizens to spend retirement savings and salary on themselves
instead
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 of saving it for their offspring.
This
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 is beneficial to their welfare
as well as
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 to young adults’ development.

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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