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Writing Samples
Band 7

Bar graph below shows the amount of carbon emissions in different countries during three different years.

Bar graph below shows the amount of carbon emissions in different countries during three different years.
The presented bar graph gives information about how much
carbon
Use synonyms
dioxide
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 was emitted in each country in 1975,1990 and 2005.
Overall
Linking Words
,it is clearly seen that the
USA
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 and
China
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 were the countries that emitted
carbon
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dioxide
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 the most
while
Linking Words
 the United Kingdom and Canada released
carbon
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dioxide
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 the least.The units are measured in
thousand
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 metric
tonnes
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. 1975 was the year with the least
carbon
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dioxide
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 emission as in 1975.
However
Linking Words
, it can be seen that there were more
carbon
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emissions
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 in the
USA
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,
China
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 and India .From the perspective of 2005, the United Kingdom had a little bit more
carbon
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emissions
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 than in 1990.
Besides
Linking Words
,the amount of
carbon
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dioxide
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 in India, Canada,the
USA
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 and
China
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 had increased
while
Linking Words
 the emission in Germany decreased.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the United Kingdom and Canada were less likely to cause pollution because they emitted under 20
thousand
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 metric
tonnes
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 during three different years .Germany and India had over 20
thousand
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tonnes
Use synonyms
 of
carbon
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emissions
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.The
USA
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 emitted
carbon
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dioxide
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 the most and it emitted 1200000,1400000 and 1600000 metric
tonnes
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 per year.
China
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 was a country that significantly raised
carbon
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emissions
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 and 2005.It emitted about 150
thousand
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 metric
tonnes
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 of
carbon
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dioxide
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.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words carbon, dioxide, usa, china, thousand, tonnes, emissions with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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