Some feel that governments should prioritize healthcare instead of other important areas. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Health
preservation plays a vital role in human life and the government
should take it into consideration. It is suggested that people
's health
protection is the most important aspect of people
's life. While
I firmly believe there are several sectors
such
as environmental conservation and education which are essential all over the world and have mutual effects on each other as
the Correct word choice
apply
government
should keep a balance among them.
On the one hand, having a great service in Healthcare is necessary for all societies, because it gives people
a chance to access sufficient treatment which protects their lives and decreases the rate of mortality. Moreover
, being- well in both mental and physical health
leads to a healthy society which has education, employment, and economic growth. Therefore
the government
must invest in this
major and spends
to improve healthcare service. Correct subject-verb agreement
spend
For instance
, in developed countries, like the US and Europe professional treatments are available for Nations and they can be under the supervision of doctors regularly. Consequently
, they are less likely to suffer illness and are not prone to health
problems compared with undeveloped countries.
On the other hand
, despite the importance of attention to health
, it should not be a preference for the government
and they are responsible for other sectors
like environmental protection as well as
education. To be more specific, If any damage is caused to the environment it can threaten all animals and people
's life. As authorities
should seriously take action and Correct word choice
Authorities
rise
Correct your spelling
raise
people
's awareness to solve environmental problems. In fact, when nations and authorities protect this
precious blessing, it can affect people
's health
directly.
To conclude
although
protecting people
from physical and mental issues and their treatment is a must in all nations, other sectors
should not be denied and the government
should spend money and give funds in all important sectors
fairly, because they affect each other.Submitted by mhshid on
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coherence cohesion
Ensure that the introduction clearly states your position on the topic.
task achievement
Develop your ideas further by providing more specific examples and evidence.
lexical resource
Pay attention to word choice and accuracy in grammar.
coherence cohesion
Use transitional phrases and cohesive devices to improve the flow of your essay.
coherence cohesion
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