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Writing Samples /
Band 6

The charts below give information about travel to and from the UK, and about the most popular countries for UK residents to visit.

The charts below give information about travel to and from the UK, and about the most popular countries for UK residents to visit.
#information #travel #uk #countries #residents #visit
Given two charts illustrate the numbers of comers and goers
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
,
as well as
 the countries which are mostly visited by
UK
 residents.
Overall
,
it is clear that
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 the amount of
UK
 residents who visited
to
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
foreign countries had outweighed others who are overseas people and visited
to
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
the
UK
over
Change preposition
for over
show examples
 20
years
.
Moreover
,
due to
 the second chart, France can be considered the most popular country
where
Correct word choice
that
show examples
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
 visited by tourists,
as well as
 Turkey had caught the
last
 place on
this
 list. To introduce, in 1979 the numbers of people who were
UK
 citizens and visited
to
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
other countries were just above 10
million
;
however
Add a comma
,however
show examples
 it continued till 1985, in the following
years
 went up
a
Change preposition
to a
show examples
peak and showed
significantly
Change the word
significant
show examples
result
Correct subject-verb agreement
results
show examples
 in 1999(above 50
million
). Whilst, the amounts of humankind who
chosen
Wrong verb form
chose
show examples
 to see
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
 were 10
million
 and preserved its stability over 8
years
, and in the next 10
years
 climbed just below 30
million
.
On the other hand
, France was mostly visited country by
UK
 citizens(approximately 11
million
);
however
Add a comma
,however
show examples
 Turkey saw only 3
million
 tourists who came from
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
. The next country
where
Correct word choice
that
show examples
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
 preferred by
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
 overseas was Spain ( just below 10
million
). The second and third place on
this
 list were Greece(3.5
million
) and USA(4
million
).
Submitted by shabnam.aghayeva on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "as well as, however".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words uk, years, million with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "give" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "numbers of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "just below" was used 2 times.
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