IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Many people nowadays live in societies where consumer goods are relatively cheap Do you thing the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

#people #societies #consumer #goods #outweigh
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
These days, the majority of the masses stay in communities, where the prices of the products are comparatively low.
This
Linking Words
 essay intends to shed light on both pros and cons of it and I believe it holds much more benefits than side effects as well.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, the drawbacks of less-priced goods do have a bad impact on the lives of dwellers.
Initially
Linking Words
, a few businessmen supply or use bad quality materials, so that they could continue to earn profit even at low rates.
For instance
Linking Words
, it has been commonly observed that electronic appliances, which are sold in sales, have many manufacturing defects.
Besides
Linking Words
, inhabitants, whenever find flyers of various goods, and find out that they could have savings, they purchase those products in
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
high
quantity
Fix the agreement mistake
quantities
show examples
.
Consequently
Linking Words
, some people cannot have any object to buy,
thus
Linking Words
, there are usually chances of a
less
Correct word choice
lesser
show examples
 amount of things for others.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, there are a plethora of advantages of cheap consumer goods, as everyone could owe them. To commence with, when groceries are relatively low-priced,
Linking Words
then
Rephrase
apply
show examples
even dwellers earning lower wages could have them.
For example
Linking Words
, a person living hand to mouth would be happy, if he or she could acquire something really expensive as it is available at low cost.
Apart from
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
, Penneys saved
while
Linking Words
 shopping by purchasers, could be used later to provide provisions to their wards.
Moreover
Linking Words
, it could
also
Linking Words
 assist
to reduce
Change preposition
in reducing
show examples
 the number of individuals living under the poverty line since they would have enough money to fulfil their basic needs because of their economic affordability. In conclusion, poor quality and
less
Fix the agreement mistake
low
show examples
 supply of the items could be a matter of concern for buyers, whilst it does have considerable profits as underprivileged people do have the opportunity to lead a good life.
Subsequently
Linking Words
, it would not be wrong to say that these trends have far more positive effects than negative ones in societies.
Submitted by lavisharma622 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
The essay has a logical structure overall, with a clear introduction and conclusion. However, some of the main points are not well-supported throughout the essay.
task achievement
The essay lacks a complete response to the task, and it does not develop clear and comprehensive ideas. The examples used are not always relevant to the topic.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: