Nowadays, celebrities are more known for their glamour and wealth than for their achievement, and this sets a bad example to young people. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#celebrities #glamour #wealth #achievement #sets #people

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Nowadays, many

celebrities

Use synonyms

have become the object of young

people

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’s crazy obsession. Even these

celebrities

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are famous for their personal charm and wealth, not

Change preposition

for

show examples

ability. I agree with

this

Linking Words

opinion

Remove the comma

apply

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because it is likely to mislead young

people

Use synonyms

that it is easy to make money. In the following article, I will explain my thoughts by referring

the

Change preposition

to the

show examples

disadvantages of celebrity fame . Idols usually

makes

Change the verb form

make

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a lot of money in a very short period of time. I think many stars in today’s country there are only

good

Correct article usage

a good

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appearance, but no ability to sing, dance, or act.

Although

Linking Words

they have no ability, some crazy fans still buy accessories to make these idols get a high income.

However

Linking Words

situation

Add an article

a situation

show examples

this

Linking Words

often misleads some young

people

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, making them have the illusion that they can all become as famous as them

with

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show examples

just good looking.

This

Linking Words

is a very terrible thing. We must let young

people

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be aware of the situation without taking

advantages

Fix the agreement mistake

advantage

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of it. In real life, some of the

second generation

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second-generation

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of stars are often famous for their wealth, but the wealth is left by the previous generation, not created by them, they just enjoy benefits.

This

Linking Words

will

also

Linking Words

lead some

people

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think

Add the particle

to think

show examples

that they can get rich without working hard, that’s what we usually say “pie in the sky”. I think everything is to rely on their own struggle. In conclusion, we shouldn’t be influenced by

some

Correct quantifier usage

apply

show examples

celebrities

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. We should live our own life.

Also

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celebrities

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must regulate their own words and deeds,

also

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act as role models.

Submitted by michellexiaedu on Thu Jul 13 2023

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

4
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

260 words

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Nowadays, celebrities are more known for their glamour and wealth than for their achievement, and this sets a bad example to young people. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

Write advantages and disadvantages of co-education.

Your friend has a travel company and would like you to come and work with him. Write a letter replying to your friend's offer. In your letter: •explain what you know about your friend's company •choose whether you accept or decline the offer •give reasons for your choice

Some people believe that in order to improve educational quality, we should encourage students to make comments or even criticism on their teachers, but others think it will lead to the loss of respect and discipline in the classroom. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?