Many people are now opting to provide technology companies with their personal data in exchange for access to software. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

#people #technology #companies #data #exchange #access #software #outweigh

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These days many individuals are choosing to give

tech

Use synonyms

companies

Use synonyms

their personal information to gain access to

software

Use synonyms

Although

Linking Words

using

this

Linking Words

software

Use synonyms

makes people’s lives easier, I believe that the benefits do not outweigh the drawbacks because

companies

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are able to constantly influence consumers’ choices. The main advantage of sharing your private data with

tech

Use synonyms

companies

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is that the

software

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they provide you makes your life simpler.

This

Linking Words

is because

this

Linking Words

software

Use synonyms

offers users personalized help in their daily matters so that they can avoid wasting time and energy doing things that they can easily do with the aid of technology.

For example

Linking Words

, Google Drive offers you a free cloud-based storage where all your documents and pictures are automatically saved and you can access them from any device at any time, without worrying about saving them on a pen drive that you might lose.

However

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, I believe that

this

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argument is weaker because people should prioritize their privacy. One of the disadvantages is that once they have access to your data,

tech

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corporations can use them to control your choices at all times.

This

Linking Words

is to say that

tech

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companies

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harvest the data you agreed to share with them, and through an in-depth analysis performed by artificial intelligence and through complex algorithms, they create profiles based on your interests, likes and dislikes. These profiles are

then

Linking Words

sold to third-party

companies

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for advertising purposes.

For example

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, Google records all your Google searches and all the videos you watch on YouTube and

then

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decides what type of advertisement you would be more susceptible to.

This

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targeted marketing has proven extremely successful. I believe

this

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argument is stronger because people are deceived by these

companies

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to generate revenues. In conclusion,

although

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providing confidential information to

tech

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firms in order to use

software

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simplifies your life, I believe that being continuously influenced in your decisions is a major drawback. For these reasons, I think that the negatives far outweigh the positives.

Submitted by mohammad39 on Mon May 06 2024

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Developing examples

To further improve, try expanding on your examples with more details. This will illustrate your points more vividly to the reader.

Balanced argumentation

Consider providing a more nuanced view on the subject by discussing possible scenarios where the advantages might outweigh the disadvantages, even if your overall argument is against it. This will show a more rounded understanding of the topic.

Structure

Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion which effectively outlines and summarizes your main arguments.

Use of examples

You made good use of examples, like Google Drive and targeted marketing, to support your arguments.

Logical flow

Your essay exhibits a clear logical structure, making it easy to follow your line of reasoning.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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5
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

327 words

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Many people are now opting to provide technology companies with their personal data in exchange for access to software. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

The best way to plan a holiday is by not planning at all. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Universities should accept equal numbers of male and female students in every subject. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

A growing number of people feel that animals should not be exloited and that thery should have the same rights as humans, while others arque that humans must employ animals to satsisfy their various needs, including for food and research.

Some people think that it would be better for large companies and industry to move to regional areas outside large urban centres. Do you think the advantage outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people believe that overconsumption of fast food is contributing to the global obesity epidemic. What problems are associated with this, and what solutions can be implemented