Many people are now opting to provide technology companies with their personal data in exchange for access to software. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

#people #technology #companies #data #exchange #access #software #outweigh

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These days many individuals are choosing to give

tech

companies

their personal information to gain access to

software

Although

using

this

software

makes people’s lives easier, I believe that the benefits do not outweigh the drawbacks because

companies

are able to constantly influence consumers’ choices. The main advantage of sharing your private data with

tech

companies

is that the

software

they provide you makes your life simpler.

This

is because

this

software

offers users personalized help in their daily matters so that they can avoid wasting time and energy doing things that they can easily do with the aid of technology.

For example

, Google Drive offers you a free cloud-based storage where all your documents and pictures are automatically saved and you can access them from any device at any time, without worrying about saving them on a pen drive that you might lose.

However

, I believe that

this

argument is weaker because people should prioritize their privacy. One of the disadvantages is that once they have access to your data,

tech

corporations can use them to control your choices at all times.

This

is to say that

tech

companies

harvest the data you agreed to share with them, and through an in-depth analysis performed by artificial intelligence and through complex algorithms, they create profiles based on your interests, likes and dislikes. These profiles are

then

sold to third-party

companies

for advertising purposes.

For example

, Google records all your Google searches and all the videos you watch on YouTube and

then

decides what type of advertisement you would be more susceptible to.

This

targeted marketing has proven extremely successful. I believe

this

argument is stronger because people are deceived by these

companies

to generate revenues. In conclusion,

although

providing confidential information to

tech

firms in order to use

software

simplifies your life, I believe that being continuously influenced in your decisions is a major drawback. For these reasons, I think that the negatives far outweigh the positives.

Submitted by mohammad39 on Mon May 06 2024

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Developing examples

To further improve, try expanding on your examples with more details. This will illustrate your points more vividly to the reader.

Balanced argumentation

Consider providing a more nuanced view on the subject by discussing possible scenarios where the advantages might outweigh the disadvantages, even if your overall argument is against it. This will show a more rounded understanding of the topic.

Structure

Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion which effectively outlines and summarizes your main arguments.

Use of examples

You made good use of examples, like Google Drive and targeted marketing, to support your arguments.

Logical flow

Your essay exhibits a clear logical structure, making it easy to follow your line of reasoning.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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5
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

327 words

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Many people are now opting to provide technology companies with their personal data in exchange for access to software. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Millions of dollars are spent on space research evey year. Some people argue that the money should be spent on improving living standards on Earth. Do you agree or disagree?

Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school. Do the advantages ot this outweigh the disadventages?

Nowadays,The way many people interact with each other has it changed because of technology. In what ways has technology affected the type of relation that people make? Has this been a positive or negative development.

You would like to buy some electrical goods at a shop in a nearby town. Write a letter to the shop and ask if they have the things you want or whether they will be able to order them. Ask what the prices are and how long they will be able to hold the goods for you.