Many people are now opting to provide technology companies with their personal data in exchange for access to software. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

#people #technology #companies #data #exchange #access #software #outweigh

These days many individuals are choosing to give

tech

companies

their personal information to gain access to

software

Although

using

this

software

makes people’s lives easier, I believe that the benefits do not outweigh the drawbacks because

companies

are able to constantly influence consumers’ choices. The main advantage of sharing your private data with

tech

companies

is that the

software

they provide you makes your life simpler.

This

is because

this

software

offers users personalized help in their daily matters so that they can avoid wasting time and energy doing things that they can easily do with the aid of technology.

For example

, Google Drive offers you a free cloud-based storage where all your documents and pictures are automatically saved and you can access them from any device at any time, without worrying about saving them on a pen drive that you might lose.

However

, I believe that

this

argument is weaker because people should prioritize their privacy. One of the disadvantages is that once they have access to your data,

tech

corporations can use them to control your choices at all times.

This

is to say that

tech

companies

harvest the data you agreed to share with them, and through an in-depth analysis performed by artificial intelligence and through complex algorithms, they create profiles based on your interests, likes and dislikes. These profiles are

then

sold to third-party

companies

for advertising purposes.

For example

, Google records all your Google searches and all the videos you watch on YouTube and

then

decides what type of advertisement you would be more susceptible to.

This

targeted marketing has proven extremely successful. I believe

this

argument is stronger because people are deceived by these

companies

to generate revenues. In conclusion,

although

providing confidential information to

tech

firms in order to use

software

simplifies your life, I believe that being continuously influenced in your decisions is a major drawback. For these reasons, I think that the negatives far outweigh the positives.

Submitted by mohammad39 on Mon May 06 2024

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Developing examples

To further improve, try expanding on your examples with more details. This will illustrate your points more vividly to the reader.

Balanced argumentation

Consider providing a more nuanced view on the subject by discussing possible scenarios where the advantages might outweigh the disadvantages, even if your overall argument is against it. This will show a more rounded understanding of the topic.

Structure

Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion which effectively outlines and summarizes your main arguments.

Use of examples

You made good use of examples, like Google Drive and targeted marketing, to support your arguments.

Logical flow

Your essay exhibits a clear logical structure, making it easy to follow your line of reasoning.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

327 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Many people are now opting to provide technology companies with their personal data in exchange for access to software. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Money spent on space exploration is a complete waste. Governments could better spend this money on other things to benefit the nation. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

People say that it is a waste of time for high school students to learn literature at school. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

In many countries, students take a year gap after finishing school and work or travel during this period. Should students take a gap year before attending universities? What are the advantages and disadvantages of it?

Some cities have vehicle-free days when private cars, trucks, and motorcycles are banned from the city center. People are encouraged to use public transportation such as buses, taxis, and metro on vehicle-free days. To what extent do you think the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+