Many people are now opting to provide technology companies with their personal data in exchange for access to software. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?
These days many individuals are choosing to give
tech
companies
their personal information to gain access to software
. Although
using this
software
makes people’s lives easier, I believe that the benefits do not outweigh the drawbacks because companies
are able to constantly influence consumers’ choices.
The main advantage of sharing your private data with tech
companies
is that the software
they provide you makes your life simpler. This
is because this
software
offers users personalized help in their daily matters so that they can avoid wasting time and energy doing things that they can easily do with the aid of technology. For example
, Google Drive offers you a free cloud-based storage where all your documents and pictures are automatically saved and you can access them from any device at any time, without worrying about saving them on a pen drive that you might lose. However
, I believe that this
argument is weaker because people should prioritize their privacy.
One of the disadvantages is that once they have access to your data, tech
corporations can use them to control your choices at all times. This
is to say that tech
companies
harvest the data you agreed to share with them, and through an in-depth analysis performed by artificial intelligence and through complex algorithms, they create profiles based on your interests, likes and dislikes. These profiles are then
sold to third-party companies
for advertising purposes. For example
, Google records all your Google searches and all the videos you watch on YouTube and then
decides what type of advertisement you would be more susceptible to. This
targeted marketing has proven extremely successful. I believe this
argument is stronger because people are deceived by these companies
to generate revenues.
In conclusion, although
providing confidential information to tech
firms in order to use software
simplifies your life, I believe that being continuously influenced in your decisions is a major drawback. For these reasons, I think that the negatives far outweigh the positives.Submitted by mohammad39 on
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Developing examples
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Balanced argumentation
Consider providing a more nuanced view on the subject by discussing possible scenarios where the advantages might outweigh the disadvantages, even if your overall argument is against it. This will show a more rounded understanding of the topic.
Structure
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion which effectively outlines and summarizes your main arguments.
Use of examples
You made good use of examples, like Google Drive and targeted marketing, to support your arguments.
Logical flow
Your essay exhibits a clear logical structure, making it easy to follow your line of reasoning.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite