Success is often measured by wealth and material belongings. Do you think health is the best measure of success? What makes a successful person?

#success #wealth #belongings #health #measure #person

Money

and material belongings are frequently known as the standards for a

person

success

in today's world. In

this

essay

Add a comma

,essay

show examples

I will explain why I consider happiness is the sole way to measure a

person

success

and why I don't think rich is the best indication of

success

. I disagree that a

person

success

is determined by how much

money

they make or the properties they own, even though affluent individuals are frequently viewed as successful since happiness cannot be bought.

Furthermore

while

money

only has a huge impact on our lives, it cannot be enough to guarantee everyone's welfare and peace of mind, which are important to

success

For example

, a wealthy celebrity who has a

masion

Correct your spelling

mansion

passion

, expensive cars, and luxury clothing yet is still

despressed

Correct your spelling

depressed

because of the pressure by the public.

As a result

, despite being rich, they are not often seen as successful. It is

also

obvious that having material possessions does not guarantee a successful and happy life. The studies support is other factors, including having strong relationships or being appreciative rather than greedy,

also

play a crucial part

Change preposition

show examples

our lives.

Many

Correct quantifier usage

Much

show examples

researchs

Correct your spelling

researches

research

researchers

have been carried out which

prove

Correct subject-verb agreement

proves

show examples

that

harmony

Replace the word

harmonious

show examples

relationships and love from family can enhance

person’s

Correct article usage

a person’s

show examples

ability in

specific

Add an article

a specific

show examples

field and become successful.

For instance

, a

person

is more likely to have a happy life if they have a caring family who supports them through their difficulties and are comfortable with their lives.

Therefore

, having

money

does not necessarily translate into

success

. In conclusion, even though we live in a society where a

person

's level of

success

is largely determined by how wealthy he is, I disagree and argue that

money

cannot buy happiness for people

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

and that

success

can

instead

be measured by factors as important as happy relationships and gratitude.

Submitted by nhiyen3104 on Thu Jul 13 2023

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

301 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Success is often measured by wealth and material belongings. Do you think health is the best measure of success? What makes a successful person?

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some-people say the government is wasting money on arts and that this money could be better spent elsewhere. To what-extent-do-you-agree-or-disagree?

Some people think that public health is the responsibility of the goverment, while others think that people should be responsible for their own health. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

In some countries, only few young people go to classic music concerts or play classing music. Why? Should young people be encouraged to attend and learn more?

As well as making money, businesses also have social responsibilities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?