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Band 5.5

These days in some countries an increasing number of young adults are choosing their whole weekends inside homes. Why do you think it is happening ? Is this a positive or negative development?

#countries #adults #weekends #homes #development
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Over the
last
 two or three decades, how
people
 live their
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
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 has changed drastically. Nowadays, they spend most of their time at
home
. In many countries, youngsters choose to spend weekends at
home
 rather than going outside.
While
 I understand the positive implications of
this
 change
but
Correct word choice
apply
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I believe
this
 is an
overall
 negative development. To start with, why adolescents ignore going outside is the advancements in technology. Individuals prefer to spend their holidays watching movies or playing video games in the comfort of their homes.
Moreover
, in
this
 modern era, young
people
 are addicted to phones and they keep scrolling through their smartphones.
Furthermore
, they have a lot of pressure of study or work during weekdays, so they want to relax and energize themselves for the next week. Another worth considering factor is the insecurities of parents. Young
people
 are in the stage of growing and experiencing new things. Parents feel insecure about their younger ones and do not let them go outside because, In
this
 stage, they can be easily influenced by others.
For instance
, when they go outside to play, they will meet new
people
 and make friends without being aware of their character and background,
therefore
, there are chances that they may
trap
Wrong verb form
be trapped
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 in a bad zone.
On the other hand
, there is an argument that staying
home
 can strengthen the bond of young
people
 with their families. They spend their weekends at
home
 with their parents to make a change and can discuss some family matters sitting together.
To conclude
, young minds prefer to stay
home
 for their comfort, and relaxation, and because of the boundaries of their families. personally, I think
this
 is a largely negative development.
Submitted by sainisonia422 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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