These days in some countries an increasing number of young adults are choosing their whole weekends inside homes. Why do you think it is happening ? Is this a positive or negative development?

#countries #adults #weekends #homes #development

Over the

last

two or three decades, how

people

live their

life

Fix the agreement mistake

lives

show examples

has changed drastically. Nowadays, they spend most of their time at

home

. In many countries, youngsters choose to spend weekends at

home

rather than going outside.

While

I understand the positive implications of

this

change

but

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

I believe

this

is an

overall

negative development. To start with, why adolescents ignore going outside is the advancements in technology. Individuals prefer to spend their holidays watching movies or playing video games in the comfort of their homes.

Moreover

, in

this

modern era, young

people

are addicted to phones and they keep scrolling through their smartphones.

Furthermore

, they have a lot of pressure of study or work during weekdays, so they want to relax and energize themselves for the next week. Another worth considering factor is the insecurities of parents. Young

people

are in the stage of growing and experiencing new things. Parents feel insecure about their younger ones and do not let them go outside because, In

this

stage, they can be easily influenced by others.

For instance

, when they go outside to play, they will meet new

people

and make friends without being aware of their character and background,

therefore

, there are chances that they may

trap

Wrong verb form

be trapped

show examples

in a bad zone.

On the other hand

, there is an argument that staying

home

can strengthen the bond of young

people

with their families. They spend their weekends at

home

with their parents to make a change and can discuss some family matters sitting together.

To conclude

, young minds prefer to stay

home

for their comfort, and relaxation, and because of the boundaries of their families. personally, I think

this

is a largely negative development.

Submitted by sainisonia422 on Thu Jul 13 2023

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Provide clear and specific examples to support your points.

coherence cohesion

Ensure a clearer introduction and conclusion to better frame the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

284 words

5.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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These days in some countries an increasing number of young adults are choosing their whole weekends inside homes. Why do you think it is happening ? Is this a positive or negative development?

Fully explain your ideas

Some people say that it is possible to tell a lot about a person's culture and character from their choice of clothes. do you agree or disagree?

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Children should begin learning a foreign language as soon as they start school. Use specific reasons and examples to support your position.

In the past, knowledge was contained in books. Nowadays, knowledge is uploaded to the internet. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

In a number of countries, some people think it is necessary to spend large sums of money on constructing railway lines for very fast trains between cities. Others believe the money should be spent on improving existing public transport. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.