IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

In many countries these days, the number of people continuing their education after school has decreased, and the range of courses available at universities and colleges has also increased. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

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Nowadays, more and more people do not continue their studies after they finish school and there are more courses available , with a wider variety. I believe that there are more negative than positive consequences of not going to college ,and I will explain my reasons in the following paragraphs. On the one hand, not continuing educational programs after high school is a negative decision for most individuals because fewer and fewer people will be qualified to do hard work
such
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 as engineering, medicine and IT. If society does not want a degree diploma anymore, the future generations will be affected negatively ,by having a too small number of experts in technical denial.
For example
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, if people
will
Verb problem
do
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 not go to college anymore, future generations will have just 10 doctors in the city and the costs of
treatment+
Correct your spelling
treatment
 will rise.
Additionally
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, the range of courses available will grow and that means less competition and,
accordingly
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, little motivation for wanting to get into university.
For instance
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, if there are 200 free seats available at a university, and just 50 young want to attend that school, a student will not be motivated to try hard to get into that institute.
On the other hand
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, for some young adults not going to university means
no
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apply
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wasting time. A big part of society continues their studies just to get a diploma not to exceed in that field, and
that is
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 a waste of precious years.
In other words
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 , a boy wants to get an engineering diploma just to make his father proud, but after ,courses he will work in
a
Change the article
an
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 IT company without needing a degree. In conclusion, I believe that even though for some individuals
beneficial
Correct word choice
apply
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, for most students the negative consequences outweigh the positive ones of not continuing studies , resulting in a society with fewer experts.

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that the introduction clearly outlines your main arguments and how you plan to support them.
task achievement
Include more specific examples that directly relate to the points being discussed to strengthen your argument.
task achievement
Avoid generalizations and ensure specific terminology, like 'engineering,' 'medicine,' and 'IT,' is used accurately, maintaining relevance to the topic.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear structure with a defined introduction and conclusion, effectively presenting your viewpoint that the negatives outweigh the positives of fewer people continuing education after school.
task achievement
The arguments presented are comprehensive and elaborate on the implications for future generations, which adds depth to your essay.
coherence cohesion
You have used a logical progression of ideas that makes it easy for the reader to follow your line of reasoning.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Vocational training
  • Specialization
  • Interdisciplinary programs
  • Human capital
  • Economic growth
  • Job prospects
  • Practical experience
  • Student enrollment
  • Educational institutions
  • Alternative education paths
  • Skill development
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