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Band 4.5

The bar chart shows the number of times per week (in 1000s), over five weeks, that three computer packages were downloaded from the internet. ▪Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The bar chart shows the number of times per week (in 1000s), over five weeks, that three computer packages were downloaded from the internet. ▪Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The bar gives information about the data of time in 1000s over five weeks that 3
computer
Use synonyms
packages
Use synonyms
 were downloaded from the internet
such
Linking Words
 as
ActiveX
Use synonyms
, Java, Net. As an
overall
Linking Words
 trend, the number of times
computer
Use synonyms
packages
Use synonyms
ActiveX
Use synonyms
 were downloaded from the internet
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
increased,
also
Linking Words
 remained constant for five years and
finally
Linking Words
ActiveX
Use synonyms
 always highest than either
computer
Use synonyms
packages
Use synonyms
 on even weed,
while
Linking Words
 that portion of
packages
Use synonyms
 Net was lowest than all weed. As the diagram's success
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
 showing up to
we
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
clearly the data of three
computer
Use synonyms
packages
Use synonyms
 was downloaded, the
computer
Use synonyms
packages
Use synonyms
 java increased steadily about 45s to 85s between
week
Use synonyms
 1 to
week
Use synonyms
 5.
While
Linking Words
 the figure Net a sharp drop
about
Change preposition
of about
show examples
 38 units to 23 units in
week
Use synonyms
 1 to
week
Use synonyms
 3, but the
last
Linking Words
 2
Use synonyms
week
Fix the agreement mistake
weeks
show examples
 about 23s to 44s.
According to
Linking Words
 the record for
Packages
Use synonyms
ActiveX
Use synonyms
 dramatically increased from about 73 unit time to 110 unit of time from
week
Use synonyms
 1 to
week
Use synonyms
 3. The next
week
Use synonyms
,
slow
Change the adjective
slowly
show examples
 decreased
14
Change preposition
by 14
show examples
 units and
at the end
Linking Words
5
Change preposition
of 5
show examples
weeks it rocketed by about 25s

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
▼
Introduction: The introduction is missing.
▼
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words computer, packages, activex, week with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "data" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 6 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Bar chart
  • Number of times
  • Per week
  • In thousands
  • Five weeks
  • Computer packages
  • Downloaded
  • From the internet
  • Summarize
  • Main features
  • Comparisons
  • Trends
  • Peaks and troughs
  • Figures
  • Popular
  • Overall
  • Patterns
  • Anomalies
  • Sudden spikes
  • Declines
  • External factors
  • Influenced
  • Download trends
  • Marketing campaigns
  • Software updates
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