Governments should spend money on railways rather than roads. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
One of the widely discussed issues nowadays is what type of road governments should develop. Now people are beginning to realize that they travel a lot
among
the cities, Change preposition
in
because
of that they Correct word choice
and because
need
improve Add the particle
need to
railways
rather than the roads
. Personally, I tend to think that roads
for daily Fix the agreement mistake
transport
transports
more crucial than other public Add a verb
transports are
transports were
transports
.
Fix the agreement mistake
transport
Firstly
, it is well known that people use their car
every day to get their work or study place. What I mean here is that
purpose of using asphalt more frequently than Correct determiner usage
the
railways
. One of the main reason
Fix the agreement mistake
reasons
that is
quality
of asphalt sturdier than Add an article
the quality
railways
, moreover
, railways
are more expensive. A good case in point is asphalt hold
out for a long term, Correct subject-verb agreement
holds
while
, railways
need to be checked after some time.
On the other
hand
it can Add a comma
hand,
also
be argued that major
part of tourists prefer plain or Correct article usage
a major
car
to get their
destination at the present time. Change preposition
to their
That is
to say
tourists are able to get anywhere more Add a comma
say,
rapid
, meanwhile, by train they need about 3 days to getChange the word
rapidly
.
Rephrase
there.
Furthermore
, using car
for Add an article
the car
a car
trip
is convenient. Take Correct article usage
a trip
for
example, studies suggest that people prefer cars rather than Add the comma(s)
, for
train
to travel. BecauseCorrect subject-verb agreement
trains
,
using your own Remove the comma
apply
car
is more safely and cheerfully
.
In conclusion, taking everything mentioned into account in our final analysis we can say that governments should spend money on Change the word
cheerful
roads
, due to
the fact that it is more useful and cheaper. In addition
, public transports
, Fix the agreement mistake
transport
such
as,
trams, buses, cars, and scooters can use Remove the comma
apply
roads
too.Submitted by dnm.best on
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Specific Examples
Work on providing clearer examples that directly support your main points. Including specific studies, data, or theoretical underpinnings could strengthen your argument and make it more persuasive.
Introduction
Your essay introduction could benefit from a clearer thesis statement that directly addresses the prompt. Defining your stance more explicitly here can guide the reader through your argument more effectively.
Grammar and Sentence Structure
Pay attention to sentence structure and grammatical accuracy. Some sentences could be clarified or made more concise to improve overall readability.
Coherence
To enhance coherence, try to connect your ideas more explicitly. Use transitional phrases to link sentences and paragraphs, ensuring that each idea flows logically to the next.
Balanced Argument
You have presented a balanced view by considering both the advantages of road investments over railways, which helps in showcasing a critical understanding of the topic.
Effective Conclusion
Your conclusion succinctly summarizes your argument, reinforcing your stance that governments should focus on road infrastructure.