ome people believe that studying at university or college is the best route to a successful career, while others believe that it is better to get a job straight after school. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people argue that higher
education
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is the key to a successful
career
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,
while
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others believe that entering the workforce immediately after
school
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is a better option.
This
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essay discusses both views and gives my own opinion. One major advantage of continuing
education
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at a university or college after
school
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is that students gain advanced knowledge and practical skills before joining the job market.
This
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period of study allows learners to improve their discipline, literacy, and understanding of their chosen field.
In addition
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, higher
education
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institutions support students through facilities
such
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as mentoring, counselling, and
career
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development programs. These services help individuals identify clear
career
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pathways and improve their future employment prospects.
Overall
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, formal
education
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contributes to the development of skilled and knowledgeable members of society.
On the other hand
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, some people choose to start working straight after
school
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due to
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financial constraints or personal responsibilities.
This
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allows them to become financially independent at an early age without relying on their parents.
Moreover
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, every society requires a balance of professionals, skilled workers, and unskilled labourers. People who enter the workforce early help fill essential low-skilled job roles that are necessary for economic growth, especially in developing countries. If everyone pursued higher
education
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, there could be a shortage of workers willing to do
such
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jobs. In conclusion, I believe that higher
education
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is the most effective route to long-term
career
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success.
However
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, encouraging some
school
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leavers to enter the job market directly is
also
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important, as it helps meet labour demands and supports
overall
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social and economic development.

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task response
Task response: The essay covers both views and gives a clear opinion. To raise this, give one clear example for each side and add a short note on why uni can take time and money.
coherence cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: Use linking words more. Keep a steady plan: intro, view 1, view 2, final view. Use shorter sentences to help flow.
language
Language: Use simple words only. Try to use a few more common words to show range, but avoid hard words. Keep each sentence short.
task response
Clear view is given and both sides are shown.
coherence
Intro and conclusion are easy to see.
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