IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

The world should have only one government rather than a national government for each country. Do the advantages of this outweigh disadvantages?.

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Is an accentuating fact that the
world
Use synonyms
 around us is experiencing harrowing upheavals.
Consequently
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,
Instead
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 of having different governing bodies for each nation, the globe should have only
one
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.
This
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 essay will scrutinize the plethora of benefits
instead
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 of demerits in the ensuing paragraphs
..
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.
...
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 The main drawback of
this
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 trend is that it is very difficult to select
one
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 leader.
As a
Correct word choice
A
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 vast number of communities live in
this
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world
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 and each community is unique because of their different traditions and customs. So every individual will wish that the top leader who leads the
world
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 should be from their side. Another factor that underpins my notion is that people of developed
nations
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 would not be happy with
this
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 approach. The prominent reason behind
this
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 is they have to share their advanced technology secrets with other
nations
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 for free.
For instance
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, developed
nations
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 like America and France
earns
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earn
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 good money by selling their high-tech weapons to India and Pakistan. So, a major way of earning
of
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apply
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these countries will be hindered if
one
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 government approach comes into effect. Despite the negatives mentioned above, I believe that
this
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 trend is a positive development for two reasons.
Firstly
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, the
world
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 would become peaceful. As we know, the location of borders is the major reason for the wars between the
nations
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. The
one
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 government approach all over the
world
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 leads to the removal of borders, which ultimately brings peace among the
nations
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.
Lastlast
Correct your spelling
Last
 but not least,
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
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people would
tos
Correct your spelling
like
 tart tackle
with
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apply
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global issues collectively. Global issues like global warming need a collective effort from all over the
world
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. So, the making of
one
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 governing body throughout the
world
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 will bring the
world
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 together to solve worldwide issues. In conclusion,
while
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 I recognize the possible disadvantages of
one
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 governing body throughout the
world
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, I consider it to be a positive development
overall
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 because it brings peace
in
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to
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 the
world
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 and unites the
world
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 to solve global problems
..
Replace the punctuation
.
...
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coherence and cohesion
Improve the use of transitions to create a smoother flow between sentences and paragraphs.
task response
Provide a more balanced discussion by considering counterarguments and addressing potential drawbacks of a one-government system.

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • centralized policies
  • international cooperation
  • global economy
  • trade barriers
  • military spending
  • authoritarian control
  • cultural diversity
  • national identities
  • local issues
  • homogenized
  • decision-making
  • democratic representation
  • world peacekeeping force
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