The table shows the Proportions of Pupils Attending Four Secondary School Types Between Between 2000 and 2009.

The table shows the Proportions of Pupils Attending Four Secondary School Types Between Between 2000 and 2009.
The table below illustrates the
numbers
of students who studied in four different
schools
in 2000, 2005 and in 2009. Looking from an
overall
perspective, only specialist
schools
stayed constant throughout these years. Other
schools
increased and declined in
numbers
.
To begin
with, almost all
schools
showed
downtrend
Correct article usage
a downtrend
show examples
. In detail, grammar
schools
in 2000 had the biggest proportion of pupils who attended
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
(24%).
However
,
after
this
year
numbers
started to
fell
Wrong verb form
fall
show examples
gradually and in 2009 they dipped to (12%).
Similarly
, with voluntary-controlled
schools
in
2000
Add a comma
,2000
show examples
it showed
also
the pick in
numbers
.
Conversely
, the proportion of students who studied in these
schools
dropped significantly and reached the lowest
numbers
Fix the agreement mistake
number
show examples
in 2009 20%.
On the other hand
, not all
schools
demonstrated
downward
Correct article usage
a downward
show examples
trend. Community
schools
rose
noticeable
Change the adjective
noticeably
show examples
. In 2000 there
were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
only 12
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
of students who attended that.
In contrast
, in 2009 there
were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
58
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
of pupils
who
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
studied there.
Submitted by slobodanatol83 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Vocabulary: Replace the words numbers, schools with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "showed" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: