Many feel that the common educational system of teachers and students in a classroom will be replaced by the year 2050. Do you agree or disagree with this view?

Many think that the traditional
education
system of teachers and pupils in a classroom will be replaced by the year 2050. I totally agree with
this
statement because I believe
the
Correct article usage
apply
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online learning will replace
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
mainstream
education
due to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
e-learing
Correct your spelling
e-learning
is economical for the
government
as well as
students, and
also
it
eliminate
Change the verb form
eliminates
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
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bullying in classrooms.
To begin
with, there are several reasons why I believe that
remotely
Change the word
remote
show examples
learning will replace
common
Add an article
the common
show examples
way of
education
by the year 2050. The primary reason
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
online learning is inexpensive
copmared
Correct your spelling
compared
with traditional
education
.
This
is because the
government
do not need to
funding
Change the verb
fund
show examples
education
Correct article usage
the education
show examples
sector
such
as
,
Remove the comma
apply
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building
school
,
Correct word choice
and maintenance
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maintenance
Replace the word
maintaining
show examples
school
, which
this
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
can make the reduce financial burden
in
Change preposition
of
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the public budget.
Consequently
, the
government
could use
this
Correct determiner usage
these
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funds to tackle crucial issues namely, climate change, global warming, and pollution.
Furthermore
,
e -learning
Add a hyphen
e-learning
show examples
is affordable for students compared to mainstream
education
.
The
Correct your spelling
This
show examples
is due
the
Change preposition
to the
show examples
fact that
,
Remove the comma
apply
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children will pay
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
show examples
fees to
school
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
because online
courses
Add a verb
courses are
courses were
show examples
often less expensive than
attend
Wrong verb form
attending
show examples
school
physically .
Moreover
, eliminating bullying is another
reasons
Replace the adjective
reason
show examples
why I believe
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
electronic -learning will replace the common way of
education
by the year 2050. To illustrate, children do not
make
Verb problem
have
show examples
face-to-face interaction with peer, which make children
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
less vulnerable to
expoture
Correct your spelling
exposure
to bullying against clothes, face,
culture
Correct word choice
and culture
show examples
.
Therefore
, I
belive
Correct your spelling
believe
show examples
in
Correct word choice
that in
show examples
future
Correct article usage
the future
show examples
many governments will adopt online learning
instead
of traditional
education
, because
onlnie learing
Correct your spelling
online learning
provide
Correct subject-verb agreement
provides
show examples
positive
Add an article
a positive
show examples
environment without discrimination, which
this
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
can contribute to
enhance
Change the verb form
enhancing
show examples
the performance of pupils.
To sum up
, I strongly believe in future the mainstream
education
will
replace
Wrong verb form
be replaced
show examples
by online learning
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
because online learning is economical for the
government
as well as
pupils, and it
provide
Change the verb form
provides
show examples
positive
Add an article
a positive
show examples
environment for students.
Submitted by faiz3177 on

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coherence cohesion
The essay lacks a clear logical structure. The points are not developed in a coherent manner, making the essay difficult to follow.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present, but they lack clarity and strength. The introduction does not clearly state the writer's position, and the conclusion does not effectively summarize the main points.
coherence cohesion
The main points are weakly supported, and the examples provided are not effectively developed or explained. More detailed and relevant examples are needed to support the main points.
task achievement
The essay provides a partial response to the task. Some relevant points are discussed, but the arguments lack depth and are not fully developed.
task achievement
Some relevant ideas are presented, but the lack of depth and development weakens the overall coherence and clarity of the essay.
task achievement
The examples provided are somewhat relevant but lack detailed explanation and analysis. More substantial examples are needed to fully support the writer's position.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • artificial intelligence (AI)
  • machine learning
  • online learning platforms
  • virtual reality (VR)
  • personalized AI tutors
  • tailored educational experiences
  • human interaction
  • mentor
  • inspire
  • psychological needs
  • group discussions
  • teamwork
  • social aspects of learning
  • critical life skills
  • digital-only format
  • hybrid model
  • educational accessibility
  • personalization
  • facilitating learning
  • curiosity
  • innovation
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