Many feel that the common educational system of teachers and students in a classroom will be replaced by the year 2050. Do you agree or disagree with this view?
Many think that the traditional
education
system of teachers and pupils in a classroom will be replaced by the year 2050. I totally agree with this
statement because I believe the
online learning will replace Correct article usage
apply
the
mainstream Correct article usage
apply
education
due to
the
Correct article usage
apply
e-learing
is economical for the Correct your spelling
e-learning
government
as well as
students, and also
it eliminate
Change the verb form
eliminates
the
bullying in classrooms.
Correct article usage
apply
To begin
with, there are several reasons why I believe that remotely
learning will replace Change the word
remote
common
way of Add an article
the common
education
by the year 2050. The primary reason the
online learning is inexpensive Correct article usage
apply
copmared
with traditional Correct your spelling
compared
education
. This
is because the government
do not need to funding
Change the verb
fund
education
sector Correct article usage
the education
such
as,
building Remove the comma
apply
school
, Correct word choice
and maintenance
maintenance
Replace the word
maintaining
school
, which this
can make the reduce financial burden Correct pronoun usage
apply
in
the public budget. Change preposition
of
Consequently
, the government
could use this
funds to tackle crucial issues namely, climate change, global warming, and pollution. Correct determiner usage
these
Furthermore
, e -learning
is affordable for students compared to mainstream Add a hyphen
e-learning
education
. The
is due Correct your spelling
This
the
fact thatChange preposition
to the
,
children will pay Remove the comma
apply
less
fees to Change the quantifier
fewer
school
,
because online Remove the comma
apply
courses
often less expensive than Add a verb
courses are
courses were
attend
Wrong verb form
attending
school
physically .
Moreover
, eliminating bullying is another reasons
why I believe Replace the adjective
reason
the
electronic -learning will replace the common way of Correct article usage
apply
education
by the year 2050. To illustrate, children do not make
face-to-face interaction with peer, which make children Verb problem
have
are
less vulnerable to Unnecessary verb
apply
expoture
to bullying against clothes, face, Correct your spelling
exposure
culture
. Correct word choice
and culture
Therefore
, I belive
Correct your spelling
believe
in
Correct word choice
that in
future
many governments will adopt online learning Correct article usage
the future
instead
of traditional education
, because onlnie learing
Correct your spelling
online learning
provide
Correct subject-verb agreement
provides
positive
environment without discrimination, which Add an article
a positive
this
can contribute to Correct pronoun usage
apply
enhance
the performance of pupils.
Change the verb form
enhancing
To sum up
, I strongly believe in future the mainstream education
will replace
by online learningWrong verb form
be replaced
,
because online learning is economical for the Remove the comma
apply
government
as well as
pupils, and it provide
Change the verb form
provides
positive
environment for students.Add an article
a positive
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coherence cohesion
The essay lacks a clear logical structure. The points are not developed in a coherent manner, making the essay difficult to follow.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present, but they lack clarity and strength. The introduction does not clearly state the writer's position, and the conclusion does not effectively summarize the main points.
coherence cohesion
The main points are weakly supported, and the examples provided are not effectively developed or explained. More detailed and relevant examples are needed to support the main points.
task achievement
The essay provides a partial response to the task. Some relevant points are discussed, but the arguments lack depth and are not fully developed.
task achievement
Some relevant ideas are presented, but the lack of depth and development weakens the overall coherence and clarity of the essay.
task achievement
The examples provided are somewhat relevant but lack detailed explanation and analysis. More substantial examples are needed to fully support the writer's position.