Some feel that governments should prioritize healthcare instead of other important areas. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

#feel #governments #prioritize #healthcare #areas

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Nowadays, the need for

healthcare

has been increasing significantly as the population grows.

Besides

few people are concerned that the government should give more attention to the

healthcare

sectors rather than the others

such

as the

education

and

tourism

section, I particularly disagree with

this

notion.

To begin

with, there are crucial reasons why people believe that

healthcare

systems should be improved.

Firstly

, the evaluation system' satu will avoid long queues in the hospital for quick treatment.

For instance

, in Parepare, many people have been waiting for 3 hours just to get treated in the hospital.

Secondly

, the advanced facilities will aid the decline of health issues in society.

For example

, conducted research on the environment and gave information to society in order to avoid diseases that can spread quickly.

Moreover

, the

education

field

also

plays an important role in a country. Through

education

, the amount of satisfied human resources is provided. On one hand, a good doctor was created by a good

education

system. To clarify, if there will be no sufficient schools for

education

there will be an insufficient number of doctors graduating to fill vacancies at the hospitals.

However

, the

tourism

aspect has a significant advantage to the country

such

as national funding. In Indonesia,

tourism

assists the growth of the economy in every region,

also

tourism

represents every culture that the region has.

As a result

, the culture well knows nationally and internationally. To summarize, I strongly believe that

healthcare

and

education

improvement are needed. Both of them contribute to the growth of a nation.

Therefore

, the government should give equal attention.

Submitted by misstiasclassroom on Sat Jul 15 2023

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13
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

266 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

universal healthcare
preventive medicine
public health infrastructure
social determinants of health
fiscal allocation
government expenditure
gross domestic product (GDP)
life expectancy
pandemic preparedness
health equity
social safety net
holistic approach
non-communicable diseases
cross-sector collaboration
socioeconomic status

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