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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some ex-prisoners commit crimes after being released from the prison. What do you think is the cause? How can it be solved?

#ex-prisoners #crimes #prison
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In now
society
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, there is a phenomenon that some ex-convicts offend the policy again. In
this
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 essay, I shall delve into how ex-prisoners detached from the community and hostile towards
society
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 lead
this
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 issue with solutions which provide psychological support and incentive program to mitigate these phenomena. As the offenders are released from jail, they may feel detached
due to
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 the social relations breakdown with their family and friends.
This
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 sense of detachment may lead
people
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 to break the law again as they think they are being excluded and failing to integrate with the present
society
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.
Furthermore
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, some ex-prisoners may feel hostile towards the community as they were enclosed in a small cell, curtailing their freedom. After being discharged from prison, they would be more likely to revenge on the
people
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 and commit the
crime
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 again.
For example
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, a study in Hong Kong has revealed that over 70% of re-offender are against the legislation to hate the civilisation. Government Incentives can lessen the number of
people
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 offending the law, as the program provides a new opportunity for those to integrate into
society
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 and a job opportunity to help them make a living. Which
people
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 can build a sense of belonging and relieve the feeling of division so that they would not recommit the
crime
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.
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In addition
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, psychological support is needed to help the displaced
people
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 from the penal institutions, which can alleviate the emotional burden of the ex-prisoners. The ex-convicts have a positive attitude towards citizens and the national regulations, which can decrease the likelihood of
crime
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 rate.
For instance
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, a survey illustrates that psychological treatment can ameliorate 50% of convicts' emotions. In conclusion, the sense of detachment and hostility towards the
people
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 may attribute the prisoners to offending the
crime
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 again. Providing psychiatric help and incentive programs can facilitate ex-poisoner not to commit a
crime
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.
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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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