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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

This graph shows the proportion of four different materials that were recycled from 1982 to 2010 in a particular country. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, making comparisons where relevant.

This graph shows the proportion of four different materials that were recycled from 1982 to 2010 in a particular country. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, making comparisons where relevant.
#proportion #four #materials #country #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The graph illustrates the comparison of the number of recycled
paper
Use synonyms
 and
cardboard
Use synonyms
,
glass
Use synonyms
 containers,
Use synonyms
aluminum
Change the spelling
aluminium
show examples
 cans and plastic between 1982 and 2010.
Overall
Linking Words
, the total number of reused materials has grown.
However
Linking Words
, not every type of matter had the same temp of growth.
Use synonyms
Aluminum
Change the spelling
Aluminium
show examples
 cans and plastics have shown a continuous rise but were less popular than other materials,
while
Linking Words
glass
Use synonyms
 vessels and
paper
Use synonyms
 and
cardboard
Use synonyms
 have taken the leading position regardless of fluctuations.
Wrong verb form
Increased
show examples
Increase
Correct article usage
The increase
show examples
 tendency of
paper
Use synonyms
 &
cardboard
Use synonyms
 and
glass
Use synonyms
 was similar. Both experienced
moderate
Correct article usage
a moderate
show examples
 drop by 1990 and constituted approximately 65 per
cent
Use synonyms
 and exactly 40 per
cent
Use synonyms
 respectively.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, after
gradual
Correct article usage
a gradual
show examples
 fall, figures for recycled containers of
glass
Use synonyms
 have grown to exactly 60% by the end of the period.
Although
Linking Words
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
amount
Correct article usage
the amount
show examples
 of
paper
Use synonyms
 and
cardboard
Use synonyms
 have declined after short growth in 1994, they maintained their lead and reached 70% in 2010.
Growth
Correct article usage
The growth
show examples
 trend of
Use synonyms
aluminum
Change the spelling
aluminium
show examples
 and plastics had
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
similarities as well. Both showed an upward tendency, but the first one did it more rapidly.
Thus
Linking Words
, by the end of the
period
Add a comma
,period
show examples
Use synonyms
aluminum
Change the spelling
aluminium
show examples
 reached more than 40 per
cent
Use synonyms
 (around 45). At the same time, plastic remained the most unpopular material and had less than 10% (about 8 per
cent
Use synonyms
).
Submitted by tsaryk2004 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words paper, cardboard, glass, aluminum, cent with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "growth" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 2 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • proportion
  • recycled
  • materials
  • increased
  • paper and cardboard
  • plastic
  • glass
  • metal
  • significant increase
  • relatively stable
  • fluctuating
  • period
  • starting
  • reaching
  • gradually increasing
  • remained low
  • experienced
  • showed
  • greatest
  • proportion
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