IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Some people think that the government should provide unemployed people with a free mobile phone and free access to the internet to help them find jobs. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion

#people #government #phone #access #internet #jobs
Some
people
 think that the authority should provide free smartphones and free internet access to help the joblessness to help them find jobs. It seems to me that can give several impacts on those
people
, so
this
 following essay will provide the reason why I tend to disagree. The most significant reason is the effect of their ability. Those
people
 will think that they can easy to get new phones and networking to look for some opportunity to get income, rather than pushing themself to get a
job
 by themself.
In addition
, some of them can use that mobile for other activities, that they do not find work.
Moreover
, the government give free access so that it more easily to open application or do something that can be impacted other. The government should provide some training that can give a positive effect on them. The
people
 who do not have a
job
 can register and join that activity to improve themself.
Subsequently
, they can have the capacity that it will be more essential to find a
job
 based on the training that they have joined.
Therefore
,
this
 will be paramount for
job
 seekers to find future careers. In conclusion, the authority should not give them free access to new phones and the Internet because it give negative effects.
However
, they provide some activities that can help to build their ability.
Submitted by gabriellasada24 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: