IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

the table below shows the number of mobile phones and personal computers per thousand people in six different countries in 2003.

the table below shows the number of mobile phones and personal computers per thousand people in six different countries in 2003.
#phones #computers #thousand #people #six #countries
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The table
illustrate
Change the verb form
illustrates
show examples
 the information regarding the
number
Use synonyms
 of cell phones and personal
computers
Use synonyms
 in 2003 in six different countries per
thousand
Use synonyms
 people.The data is calibrated
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
per
thousand
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
,Iceland had
maximum
Change the article
a maximum
the maximum
show examples
number
Use synonyms
 of
cellphones
Correct your spelling
cell phones
show examples
whereas
Linking Words
Malaysia
Use synonyms
 had
minimum
Change the article
a minimum
the minimum
show examples
number
Use synonyms
 of personal
computers
Use synonyms
. At a fleeting glance,Sn Mario had double
Use synonyms
number
Correct article usage
the number
show examples
 of mobiles which was 100 per
thousand
Use synonyms
 as compared to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Chile.
The
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Malaysia
Use synonyms
 had 50 per
thousand
Use synonyms
 more cellphones whilst to France.The Iceland had maximum
number
Use synonyms
 of mobile phones which was 900 per
thousand
Use synonyms
.
In addition
Linking Words
,Zealand had
greater
Add an article
a greater
show examples
number
Use synonyms
 of mobile phones
in contrast
Linking Words
 to
Malaysia
Use synonyms
 by 300 per
thousand
Use synonyms
. Probing ahead,San
marino
Change the capitalization
Marino
show examples
 had
maximum
Add an article
a maximum
the maximum
show examples
 proportion of personal
computers
Use synonyms
 which was 720 per
thousand
Use synonyms
 as compared to other nations.Both
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Chile and
Malaysia
Use synonyms
 had
similar
Change the article
a similar
the similar
show examples
number
Use synonyms
 of personal
computers
Use synonyms
 which was 100 per
thousand
Use synonyms
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,Iceland had 100 per
thousand
Use synonyms
 more personal
computers
Use synonyms
 in comparison to France.
The
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Zealand had 350 per
thousand
Use synonyms
 personal
computers
Use synonyms
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 67%.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words number, computers, thousand, malaysia with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "compared" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 7 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: