In order to be successful in sport, some people think you have to be physically strong. Others say that mental strength is more important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

There are controversial perspectives heating a debate over success in
sport
Fix the agreement mistake
sports
show examples
.
While
some claim that it is necessary for people to have physical
strength
, the opposite makes a statement that
mentally
Add a missing verb
being mentally
show examples
strong is more significant. Whilst each has its own perks, I would contend that it is optimal to combine both mentioned factors. Without a shadow of a doubt, being physically strong plays
such
a paramount importance role in sports. And the explanation for
this
could be that some sports require good endurance.
For instance
, football athletes need to have fine legs which assist them to perform difficult techniques in about 90 minutes,
not to mention
stoppage time. They
also
have to exercise regularly in order to maintain their
health
such
as stamina
together with
muscular
strength
.
Hence
, physical
strength
helps athletes to accelerate in the title race.
While
the redeeming features of physical
health
are widely acknowledged, it is unfair if those of mental
strength
are ignored.
This
might be because mental
health
serves as a vital factor for athletes, which motivates their morale.
For instance
, Miss Nguyen Thi Anh Vien - one of the most well-known female swimmers,
she
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
is always in the highest spirits when not only taking part in the coaching period but
also
engaging in competition. Thanks to her full of energy, she won considerable gold medal cups in SEA Games 2015.
Thus
, preparing for good mental
health
is
also
a manner to conquer the victory cup. In conclusion, sportsmen have to practice both physical and mental
health
so that they can be in a good position for the match.
Submitted by hominhtrang995 on

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Task Achievement
Continue to provide examples to support your arguments as you did effectively in your essay. This makes your stance stronger and your essay more convincing.
Coherence and Cohesion
Consider varying your sentence structures and utilizing a wide range of cohesive devices to enhance the flow of your essay. This can make your writing more dynamic and engaging.
Task Achievement
Remember to clearly restate your stance in the conclusion to leave a strong impression on the reader. Reinforcing your opinion in the conclusion ensures that your argument is memorable.
Task Achievement
You effectively discussed both sides of the argument before stating your own viewpoint, showing a balanced and thoughtful response.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay demonstrates good logical structure, with each paragraph focusing on a specific aspect of the debate, which helps the reader follow your argument easily.
Task Achievement
The use of specific examples, such as mentioning Miss Nguyen Thi Anh Vien, effectively illustrates your points, making your arguments more concrete and persuasive.

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