In order to be successful in sport, some people think you have to be physically strong. Others say that mental strength is more important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#sport #people #strength

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There are controversial perspectives heating a debate over success in

sport

Fix the agreement mistake

sports

show examples

While

some claim that it is necessary for people to have physical

strength

, the opposite makes a statement that

mentally

Add a missing verb

being mentally

show examples

strong is more significant. Whilst each has its own perks, I would contend that it is optimal to combine both mentioned factors. Without a shadow of a doubt, being physically strong plays

such

a paramount importance role in sports. And the explanation for

this

could be that some sports require good endurance.

For instance

, football athletes need to have fine legs which assist them to perform difficult techniques in about 90 minutes,

not to mention

stoppage time. They

also

have to exercise regularly in order to maintain their

health

such

as stamina

together with

muscular

strength

Hence

, physical

strength

helps athletes to accelerate in the title race.

While

the redeeming features of physical

health

are widely acknowledged, it is unfair if those of mental

strength

are ignored.

This

might be because mental

health

serves as a vital factor for athletes, which motivates their morale.

For instance

, Miss Nguyen Thi Anh Vien - one of the most well-known female swimmers,

she

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

is always in the highest spirits when not only taking part in the coaching period but

also

engaging in competition. Thanks to her full of energy, she won considerable gold medal cups in SEA Games 2015.

Thus

, preparing for good mental

health

also

a manner to conquer the victory cup. In conclusion, sportsmen have to practice both physical and mental

health

so that they can be in a good position for the match.

Submitted by hominhtrang995 on Mon Feb 26 2024

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Task Achievement

Continue to provide examples to support your arguments as you did effectively in your essay. This makes your stance stronger and your essay more convincing.

Coherence and Cohesion

Consider varying your sentence structures and utilizing a wide range of cohesive devices to enhance the flow of your essay. This can make your writing more dynamic and engaging.

Task Achievement

Remember to clearly restate your stance in the conclusion to leave a strong impression on the reader. Reinforcing your opinion in the conclusion ensures that your argument is memorable.

Task Achievement

You effectively discussed both sides of the argument before stating your own viewpoint, showing a balanced and thoughtful response.

Coherence and Cohesion

Your essay demonstrates good logical structure, with each paragraph focusing on a specific aspect of the debate, which helps the reader follow your argument easily.

Task Achievement

The use of specific examples, such as mentioning Miss Nguyen Thi Anh Vien, effectively illustrates your points, making your arguments more concrete and persuasive.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

265 words

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In order to be successful in sport, some people think you have to be physically strong. Others say that mental strength is more important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In some countries, people encourage their children to get a job or to travel after their secondary education and before their university education. What are the advantages or disadvantages of doing so?

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Some children spend a long time each day on their smartphones. Why is this? Is this a positive or negative development?

Some countries pay high salaries to its employees. It is argued that countries must not do it and impose limits on salaries. Do you agree or disagree ?