Some people believe that young people who commit serious crimes，such as a robbery or a violent attack should be punished in the same way as adults. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #crimes，such #robbery #attack #adults

Many individuals believe that youngsters who commit dangerous crimes like robbery or a violent attack should be punished in the same as adults. I totally disagree with

this

statement and

This

essay will discuss both sides of

this

matter and How will be solved and handled it.

Firstly

, There is many reason why youth are involved in critical problems day by day.

Besides

, reasons that poverty in people So, wealthy individuals misused the poor people's weaknesses for their profits

such

as for smuggling of drugs, weapons

as well as

girls.

Secondly

, youngsters are obsessed with luxury cars and lavish lifestyles

then

they want good

life

so they choose the wrong way because they think it is a very fast way and they will become rich in their

life

For instance

, Movies and social media play a very biggest role in their

life

, young generation take ideas or strategy in films how to commit robbery or violent action in real

life

furthermore

, Government should change the punishment rules different for minors and open a school for education so that they know about their decisions and How to exit their critical situations in future and what is good for them

Although

, Government provide awareness of Self-defence is most important for youth. In conclusion, nowadays impoverishment is the biggest problem in my nation So that's why, minors attempt crimes and some richest people use them for their strength and innocence for their benefit and to spoil youngster's futures.

Hence

, Government should take serious action against infants and open pre-schools as jails for criminals and provide useful knowledge for their bright future.

Submitted by PREETY on Sun Jul 16 2023

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Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

268 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.5

Complete response

5.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people believe that young people who commit serious crimes，such as a robbery or a violent attack should be punished in the same way as adults. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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