IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

You currently work full-time in a company but would like to change to working part-time. Write a letter to your manager. In your letter, a. Explain why you would like to change to working part-time work b. Say what times and days of the week would suit you best c. Suggest how your work could be covered or completed if you work part-time

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Dear Sir, I am Charlie James, one of the employees of your company, inscribing
this
Linking Words
 epistle to inform you about the request to change the schedule of my
work
Use synonyms
 from full-time to part-time. Well, I have been working in your organisation
from
Change preposition
for
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Linking Words
last
Correct article usage
the last
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 two years as a full-time worker.
However
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, I recently opted to commence the
Masters
Fix the agreement mistake
Master
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 in Commerce in order to gain a promotion in your business. Owing to
this
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, my classes are going to start from the first day of next month,
That is
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 the only reason, why I want to change my job to part-time
work
Use synonyms
.
Additionally
Linking Words
, I would be available from 3:00PM to 7:00PM on weekdays and 5:00PM to 7:00PM on weekends as my classes would be conducted in the mornings. I
also
Linking Words
 want to clear that my
work
Use synonyms
 timings would not put any detrimental effect on my job because I would be available for
work
Use synonyms
 from phone during the break from my class schedule and would definitly complete it on time. I hope you will understand my situation and would allow me to pursue my job as part-time for one year. Yours sincerely, Charlie James.

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coherence and cohesion
Consider using more varied sentence structures to improve the flow of your writing.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure every paragraph clearly develops a single main idea to enhance clarity.
task achievement
Add a brief summary or reinforcement of your request in the closing paragraph for better emphasis.
task achievement
Your letter has a polite and formal tone, which is appropriate for a workplace communication.
task achievement
You clearly explained your reason for needing to change to part-time work, demonstrating clarity in communication.
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