IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

When it comes to workplaces, we normally think we have to go there to work. A lot of us commute to work every day. However, there are some people who work remotely at their homes or away from their offices. What do you think is the reason why some companies permit their employees to work this way?

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Some believe that people should
work
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 directly in the
office
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, but it has become increasingly common for people to
work
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 from home. The ability to
work
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 remotely is
due to
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 increased effectiveness and reduced transportation costs.
To begin
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 with, it is commonly believed that people are more productive when they feel comfortable. Allowing employees to
work
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 from anywhere can increase their satisfaction because they do not need to spend time preparing for the
office
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.
For instance
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, parents working in
such
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 companies can manage their morning tasks, like cooking and ironing clothes for their children, without the rush of commuting to the
office
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.
This
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 reduces stress and increases happiness and productivity when working from home.
Secondly
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, working in an
office
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 allows for direct supervision by leaders, which can be beneficial.
However
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, remote
work
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 can significantly reduce transportation costs. Managers can save on fuel expenses and allocate these savings to other projects.
For instance
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, the saved money can be used to fund company retreats, helping employees reduce stress and return with renewed energy. In conclusion, there are two main reasons why companies should permit remote
work
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.
Firstly
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, it enhances employee productivity by providing a more comfortable working environment.
Secondly
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, it reduces company expenditures, particularly in transportation costs, allowing funds to be allocated to other beneficial projects.

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task achievement
While your essay is well-structured, adding more specific examples and deeper analysis can further strengthen your arguments. Consider expanding on the points with additional details or statistics where applicable.
coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, ensure smooth transitions between paragraphs and ideas. Phrases like 'Moreover' or 'In addition' can help connect points more fluidly.
coherence cohesion
The essay is clearly structured with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
task achievement
Main ideas are relevant and directly address the prompt.
coherence cohesion
The language used is clear and appropriate with a good range of vocabulary, making the ideas easy to follow.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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