Nowadays young people are admiring media and sports stars, even though they do not set a good example. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Nowadays young generations are adoring
media
and
sports
stars
, despite the fact that they do not display a good example. I believe
this
is a bad development because young
people
could follow the negative influence of some
media
and
sports
stars
and it can affect their
activities
in
school
.
To begin
with,
media
and
sports
stars
tend to show inappropriate actions that can influence
people
to do the same thing as they did, especially since most of the
people
who were influenced by them are young
people
. In order to make their ratings high, some
media
broadcast hot gossip that could make
people
interested in it and most of them are related to underage
content
.
For instance
, TikTok
display
Wrong verb form
displayed
show examples
tiktokers that wore transparent clothes which are under age
content
and it
reach
Wrong verb form
reached
show examples
2 million viewers.
As a result
, kids will be curious and start to search for the same
content
which may lead to addiction to 18+ videos.
Furthermore
, some kids imitate the inappropriate habits and behaviour of their favourite athletes, and they depict actions that lead to a bad attitude in their
school
activities
.
For instance
, young
people
are smoking in their
school
area because they
thought
Wrong verb form
think
show examples
that it is an awesome action to be shown and it will affect their studies and
activities
because they have addicted to smoking.
As a result
, schools will give heavy sanctions and worse they will drop out of
school
. In conclusion,
media
and
sports
stars
tend to
give
Verb problem
have
show examples
a bad influence on young generations. It will start with curiosity and end in the addiction to underage
content
. Some young
people
may even imitate their bad actions
such
as smoking, and as a ,result the
activities
in
school
will be disturbed and worse
school
will drop
out
Change preposition
apply
show examples
them.
Submitted by starlegend218 on

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coherence cohesion
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task achievement
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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

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To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • media personalities
  • sports icons
  • role models
  • admiration
  • influence
  • behavior
  • mindset
  • values
  • unethical behavior
  • healthy lifestyles
  • social media platforms
  • celebrity culture
  • career aspirations
  • educational goals
  • positive change
  • ethical standards
  • amplify
  • idolize
  • public perception
  • impressionable
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