IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

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In recent decades, an increasing number of
people
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 have left rural areas to settle in
cities
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 in search of better opportunities.
Although
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this
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 trend can contribute to economic growth and improve individuals' quality of life, I believe it is a negative development
overall
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 because it places excessive pressure on urban areas
while
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 causing long-term decline in rural
communities
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. One major disadvantage of rural-to-urban migration is that it leads to overcrowding in
cities
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. As more
people
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 move to urban centres, the demand for housing, public transport, healthcare, and other essential services rises significantly. In many developing countries,
cities
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 are already struggling to cope with rapid population growth.
Consequently
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, traffic congestion becomes worse, property prices increase, and governments are forced to spend more on expanding infrastructure.
This
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 can reduce the
overall
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 quality of life for both existing residents and newcomers. Another serious consequence is the gradual decline of rural
communities
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. When young and skilled workers leave villages, there are fewer
people
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 available to support local businesses, schools, and farms.
As a result
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, many small shops close
due to
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 a lack of customers, schools may shut down because of falling student numbers, and agricultural production can decline as there are not enough workers to cultivate the land. Over time, some villages may become almost deserted, leading to the loss of local traditions and cultural heritage that have existed for generations. Admittedly, moving to
cities
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 often allows individuals to access better education, healthcare, and higher-paying jobs. These opportunities can improve
people
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's living standards and contribute to national economic development.
However
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, these benefits mainly affect individuals,
whereas
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 the negative consequences are experienced by both urban and rural
communities
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.
Therefore
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, the
overall
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 impact is more harmful than beneficial. In conclusion,
although
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 urban migration offers greater opportunities for many
people
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, I consider it to be a negative development because it creates overcrowded
cities
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while
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 weakening rural economies and
communities
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. Governments should
therefore
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 invest more in rural infrastructure, education, and employment so that
people
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 are not forced to leave their hometowns.

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task response
For task response, your answer is clear and you give a strong view from the start. To get a higher score, add one more very clear real example in one body part.
task response
For task response, your ideas are good and easy to follow, but some points are a bit general. Try to explain one result in more depth.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, your essay has a clear shape with good paragraphing. To improve more, link some ideas inside the body parts in a smoother way.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, you use linking words well, but do not use too many similar ones. Try to vary them in a natural way.
task response
For task response, you answer the question fully and keep your view clear all through the essay.
task response
For task response, your main ideas are relevant and well developed.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, your essay is well organized with a clear introduction, body parts, and conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, each main part has one clear focus, which makes the essay easy to read.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • rural-to-urban migration
  • population shift
  • positive impact
  • negative impact
  • urbanization
  • job opportunities
  • access to education
  • access to healthcare
  • urban infrastructure
  • rural traditions
  • cultural heritage
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