IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

The global trend of rural populations shifting to urban
centers
Change the spelling
centres
show examples
 has sparked debate about its implications.
While
Linking Words
cities
Use synonyms
 offer economic opportunities and modern amenities, the rapid depopulation of rural areas often leads to long-term societal, economic, and environmental challenges, making
this
Linking Words
 development more negative than positive. One significant drawback is the decline in agricultural productivity. As young rural residents move to
cities
Use synonyms
 in search of higher-paying jobs, farms struggle with
labor
Change the spelling
labour
show examples
 shortages.
For instance
Linking Words
, in Thailand, the exodus of farmers to Bangkok has left vast rice fields abandoned, forcing the country to import staple crops despite its historical agrarian strength.
This
Linking Words
 not only disrupts local food security but
also
Linking Words
 weakens national self-sufficiency. Socially, urban overcrowding exacerbates inequality.
Cities
Use synonyms
 like Mumbai, India, and Dhaka, Bangladesh, grapple with slums where millions lack access to clean water, healthcare, and education. These conditions breed social unrest and widen the gap between urban elites and
marginalized
Change the spelling
marginalised
show examples
 migrants.
Conversely
Linking Words
, rural communities lose their cultural identity as traditional practices fade with dwindling populations, eroding heritage that defines a nation's character. Environmental degradation compounds these issues. Urban expansion often encroaches on fertile land,
while
Linking Words
 rural neglect leads to deforestation and soil erosion. In Brazil, the Amazon rainforest continues to shrink as land is cleared for urban development and agriculture, driven by population growth in
cities
Use synonyms
 like Rio de Janeiro. Meanwhile,
cities
Use synonyms
 themselves face pollution crises, as seen in Mexico City's smog alerts caused by unchecked
urbanization
Change the spelling
urbanisation
show examples
. Critics argue that
urbanization
Change the spelling
urbanisation
show examples
 fuels economic growth by concentrating
labor
Change the spelling
labour
show examples
 and innovation.
However
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 progress often comes at the expense of sustainability and equity. Without policies to
revitalize
Change the spelling
revitalise
show examples
 rural infrastructure,
such
Linking Words
 as investing in education and renewable energy, the cycle of rural decline and urban strain will persist. In conclusion,
while
Linking Words
 urban migration brings short-term benefits, its long-term consequences - economic vulnerability, social fragmentation, and environmental harm - outweigh its advantages. A balanced approach
prioritizing
Change the spelling
prioritising
show examples
 rural development is essential to mitigate these risks and ensure holistic progress.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response improvement
State your view clearly in the first line of the essay.
coherence improvement
Keep one main idea in each paragraph and end with a clear link to the next idea.
content improvement
Back up each main point with one clear example or fact, and spell out how it helps your view.
content improvement
Balance the view a bit by mentioning a counter idea and then give your own view.
language improvement
Use short, simple words and join ideas with short links to make it easy to read.
stance
Clear view against a common trend.
structure
Good plan with four parts (intro, body, conclusion).
content
Many real examples used to show your idea.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • rural-to-urban migration
  • population shift
  • positive impact
  • negative impact
  • urbanization
  • job opportunities
  • access to education
  • access to healthcare
  • urban infrastructure
  • rural traditions
  • cultural heritage
What to do next:
Look at other essays: