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Writing Samples
Band 6

Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

In the
ages
Fix the agreement mistake
age
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 of developing medicine,
majority
Correct article usage
the majority
show examples
 of
people
Use synonyms
 prefer to cure their diseases with new, different
methods
Use synonyms
 of
treatment
Use synonyms
. Only
small
Correct article usage
a small
show examples
 number of
people
Use synonyms
 go to their usual
doctors
Use synonyms
,though, I do believe there is nothing negative in seeking unconventional
methods
Use synonyms
 of treating if
people
Use synonyms
 want so Today medicine is improving from day to day,
Use synonyms
doctors
Correct word choice
and doctors
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 and
proffesors
Correct your spelling
professors
 try to find quicker and easier
way
Fix the agreement mistake
ways
show examples
 of treating various diseases.
Therefore
Linking Words
people
Use synonyms
 want to cure their health problems via these modern
methods
Use synonyms
. It is completely normal as sometimes usual
doctors
Use synonyms
 cannot help and
people
Use synonyms
 need to find another way to solve health problems. There are a lot of examples when untraditional
treatment
Use synonyms
 helps
people
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 to win
disease
Change preposition
against disease
show examples
.
For instance
Linking Words
, Medical Center in Uzbekistan,
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
is famous in Central Asia
by
Change preposition
for
show examples
 treating diseases, which
doctors
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 could not treat. In 2017,
doctors
Use synonyms
 from
this
Linking Words
 medical Centre helped a boy who could not speak by their own special
methods
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. So, sometimes alternative, and strange way
treatment
Use synonyms
 can be very useful.
Moreover
Linking Words
, in some cases, usual
doctors
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 do not have sufficient knowledge about a particular health problem.
For example
Linking Words
, in
Kazakhstan
Add a comma
,Kazakhstan
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 quality of high education is extremely
law
Correct your spelling
low
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, even in medical schools.
Majority
Correct article usage
The majority
show examples
 of
people
Use synonyms
 are aware
about
Change the preposition
of
show examples
 that and
therefore
Linking Words
 give their preference to alternative medicines.
However
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 development might be
incentive
Add an article
an incentive
show examples
 for usual medics to be more competent in order to get
people
Use synonyms
's trust. In conclusion,
people
Use synonyms
 may decide for themselves whether to try alternative treatments or to be content with local
doctors
Use synonyms
. Personally , I feel that it is better to find
medicine
Add an article
a medicine
the medicine
show examples
 that will suit them and help them, even if it is
unconventional
Correct article usage
an unconventional
show examples
treatment
Use synonyms
.

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • alternative medicines
  • treatments
  • positive development
  • negative development
  • health problems
  • usual doctor
  • access
  • personalized approach
  • holistic well-being
  • lack of regulation
  • evidence-based research
  • proper medical treatment
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