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Writing Samples
Band 5

It is often said that to become a successful business a tertiary education is not at all necessary. To what extent you agree or disagree. Give your opinion.

Education
Use synonyms
 is a key
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 being profitable and it is cumbersome to lead a job market without it;
Linking Words
however
Add a comma
,however
show examples
 there are some who believe that higher
education
Use synonyms
 is not essential to grow in any
business
Use synonyms
 field. Personally, I
am not totally agree
Change the verb form
do not totally agree
show examples
 with
this
Linking Words
 idea and
this
Linking Words
 essay will discuss my point of view in the following paragraphs, including some examples from my own experience. At the outset, nowadays,
business
Use synonyms
 is considered one of the most famous and prospering types of work,
as well as
Linking Words
 qualifications
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
business
Use synonyms
 administration
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 growing day by day. Most people are striving to have
own
Correct pronoun usage
their own
show examples
 occupation because of its convenience and flexibility. Even
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
graduates change their
career
Use synonyms
 direction to
business
Use synonyms
administrartion
Correct your spelling
administration
 if they are dissatisfied with their qualifications.
Likewise
Linking Words
, most universities offer a program
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
named Master of
Business
Use synonyms
 Administration
for
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 reason
as well as
Linking Words
 the
amount
Change the quantifier
number
show examples
 of novices have increasing who
tends
Correct subject-verb agreement
tend
show examples
 to choose
this
Linking Words
 faculty.
For instance
Linking Words
, the study which has taken in Germany shows that
this
Linking Words
 program peaked hit
education
Use synonyms
 rates for
Linking Words
last
Correct article usage
the last
show examples
 5 years.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 number of individuals insist on the idea that anyone can accomplish in personal marketing
career
Use synonyms
 without higher
education
Use synonyms
. They claim that tuition has
Correct article usage
an affect
show examples
affect
Replace the word
effect
show examples
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 specific
career
Use synonyms
 areas,
such
Linking Words
 as
education
Use synonyms
,
health
Correct word choice
and health
show examples
. but not marketing.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, with
support
Correct article usage
the support
show examples
 of technology, being successful in
Use synonyms
business
Add an article
a business
show examples
career
Use synonyms
 is easier than
previous
Change preposition
in previous
show examples
 years. To exemplify, two decades ago, people could make an advertisement solely on TV or radio to gain profit from their
business
Use synonyms
,
in contrast
Linking Words
 now social media gives them a great chance to flourish
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 their personal area. Personally, I believe that the role of
education
Use synonyms
 is undeniable in any field from engineering to sculpturing. It provides coaching which all professionals need to fall depth of occupation. To personify, I
initially
Linking Words
 was working as a teacher,
as well as
Linking Words
 I had
small
Add an article
a small
show examples
business
Use synonyms
 on jewellery.
However
Linking Words
, I didn't have
income
Correct article usage
the income
show examples
 which I wish.
Therefore
Linking Words
, I decided to study
in
Change preposition
for
show examples
 The Master of
Business
Use synonyms
 Administration and
subsequently
Linking Words
, I learned many secrets to become
lucky
Add an article
a lucky
show examples
 businesswoman. In a nutshell, related
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
 our modern era, it is not tough to tackle with rising of amount
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
private marketing.
Otherwise
Linking Words
, universities, training programs and
practicing
Change the spelling
practising
show examples
 could have more out-turn
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
 be
professional
Add an article
a professional
show examples
businessman
Fix the agreement mistake
businessmen
show examples
.

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • essential
  • valuable
  • knowledge
  • skills
  • entrepreneurial
  • practical experience
  • success
  • tertiary education
  • networking opportunities
  • access to resources
  • combination
  • ideal
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