Studies show that crime rates are lower among those with educational degrees. Therefore, the best way to reduce the crime rate is to educate criminals while they are still in prison. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Introduction

Many believe that criminal

education

Use synonyms

during the prison period is the most effective method to prevent

crimes

Use synonyms

. I utterly disagree with

this

Linking Words

statement compared to other alternatives which are early-year

education

Use synonyms

for all residents and stricter punishments for offenders.

Body paragraph 1

To begin

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with,

instead

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of educating criminals, early

education

Use synonyms

is more useful.

This

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is because prevention is better than cure.

In other words

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, it is much easier to control normal people than to fix already offenders because when ordinary citizens have the right mindset and are aware of

crimes

Use synonyms

, they will avoid committing them.

Likewise

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, students can learn about

crimes

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in early-year schools, and

then

Linking Words

they might be afraid of doing

such

Linking Words

bad actions as adults.

For example

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, some Asian countries are educating secondary students to avoid committing criminal behaviour.

As a result

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, these nations have less crime rates compared to non-educated ones.

Body paragraph 2

Additionally

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, criminal rates can be curbed by more stringent rules by governments.

This

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means that governments can intervene and issue stricter guidelines when it comes to

crimes

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therefore

Linking Words

, residents can be afraid of committing

crimes

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. These evolved more rigorous punishments

such

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as longer prison time or heavy fines.

For instance

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, when some did stealing

crimes

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, they could be in prison

instead

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of just paying fines.

Therefore

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, stealing rates will be decreased

due to

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those strict laws.

Conclusion

To conclude

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, I hold the belief that criminal behaviour can be capped by some viable measures

such

Linking Words

education

Use synonyms

before people do wrong actions and a system of serious rules for those who commit

crimes

Use synonyms

anhnhi.bell

Jul 17, 2023

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14
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

253 words

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