Many famous athletes advertise different products. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Although

Linking Words

advertising various

Change preposition

apply

show examples

goods is thought by some to be a perfect choice for popular

athletes

Use synonyms

, other people think that it can be detrimental. In my opinion, I consider that advertising

products

Use synonyms

can bring about more advantages for

athletes

Use synonyms

compared to any problems

Correct pronoun usage

they

show examples

might bring. Despite the drawbacks below, I believe the benefits gained by

Use synonyms

athletes

Change noun form

athletes'

athlete's

show examples

advertising goods are extremely useful for their training.

Firstly

Linking Words

, sportsmen can get enough money to pay for their

equipment

Use synonyms

. The better

Use synonyms

equipment

Correct article usage

the equipment

show examples

are

Change the verb form

show examples

, the more expensive they are. By using perfect

equipment

Use synonyms

athletes

Use synonyms

will show their best performance when they have races.

Secondly

Linking Words

athletes

Use synonyms

can make their free

time

Use synonyms

more colourful by advertising

products

Use synonyms

. Take Chinese table tennis player Sun Yingsa

for instance

Linking Words

, who

have

Correct subject-verb agreement

has

show examples

Change the article

show examples

advertising job in order to release her stress. She thinks that when she was advertising, she could go out of the sport and let her brain relax. Admittedly, there are some issues involved when sportsmen

advertising

Wrong verb form

advertise

show examples

goods. One problem is that it might expose them to

Correct your spelling

not

show examples

enough training

time

Use synonyms

For example

Linking Words

, lots of Chinese football players spend too much

time

Use synonyms

on advertising

products

Use synonyms

and reduce their training

time

Use synonyms

as a result

Linking Words

, they

could not

Wrong verb form

cannot

show examples

do well during events.Another aspect is that

athletes

Use synonyms

make their private

time

Use synonyms

get shorter. It will brother sportsmen relaxing

time

Use synonyms

, some

athletes

Use synonyms

are shy and prefer to enjoy

time

Use synonyms

Change preposition

show examples

their own.

Change preposition

With

show examples

too

much

Correct quantifier usage

many

show examples

advertisments

Correct your spelling

advertisements

, they will lose their private space.

To sum up

Linking Words

, advertising

products

Use synonyms

not only make

athletes

Use synonyms

get enough money to pay for their

equipment

Use synonyms

but

also

Linking Words

make their life more colourful and

this

Linking Words

clearly outweighs any of its drawbacks.

s_syedyMon Jul 17 2023

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task achievement

Try to clearly outline your main points in the introduction to set expectations for the reader. Consider a more balanced view of the pros and cons in your thesis statement.

coherence and cohesion

Ensure each paragraph has a clear central idea and topic sentence. This will enhance the logical flow and coherence of your essay.

coherence and cohesion

Use a more varied vocabulary and sentence structure to improve the overall quality of your writing. This helps in making your arguments more persuasive and engaging.

task achievement

You provide relevant examples and personal opinions, which help to support your arguments effectively.

coherence and cohesion

The structure of your essay is generally clear, with distinct paragraphs focusing on different aspects of the topic.

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
14
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

272 words

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Some people think that only the best students should be rewarded. Others, however, think that it is more important to reward students who show improvements.

Many famous athletes advertise different products. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Traditional foods are being replaced by international fast foods. It has a negative effect on families and societies. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Nowadays more and more older people who need employment have to compete with younger people for the same jobs. What problems does this cause? What are the solutions?

In some areas of the US, a 'curfew' is imposed, in which teenagers are not be allowed to be out fo doors after a particular time at night unless they are accompanied by an adult. What is your opinion about this?

Some people think that only the best students should be rewarded. Others, however, think that it is more important to reward students who show improvements. Discuss both views and give your opinion.